Fragile • Stiles Stilinski [One]

Fighting for air

Chapter Thirty Four

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I shifted in my seat awkwardly as Ms. Morrell's eyes dug holes into Stiles and I. We had been forced to talk to her since the whole Matt thing had gone down. Frankly I would rather be sitting in Harris' class right now instead of this, and that says something.

"Look, I know you both have been dragged here against your will...but since we let you two come at the same time since you refused to come without the other, the least you can do is talk to me," Ms. Morrell said softly from her seat on the other side of the desk.

I glanced over at Stiles, but then quickly looked down at my fingers, intertwining them together. I really don't wanna be the one to talk first, Stiles would be better at starting it then I would be. But how we're all acting at this point, who knows if he will even say a word. Things have just been off since we were held hostage in the Sheriffs office. I've had a few nightmares, most of them involving myself being shot by Matt, or the ones I love and me having to watch it. I've had nightmares of Jackson choking me as the Kanima, where I've woken up gasping for air and clawing at my neck. I'm even having trouble focusing in my classes, afraid that in any moment something will happen...something we can't stop...something we can't control...something that could kill us all.

"You know when you're drowning, you don't actually inhale until right before you black out. It's called voluntary apnea." Stiles stated. I turned in my seat so I could get a better look at my boyfriend, a little surprised that he spoke up, but I mean...it's Stiles, I shouldn't be. He wasn't looking up at myself or Ms. Morrell, but focusing solely on tightening the strings on his lacrosse stick. "It's like no matter how much you're freaking out, the instinct to not let any water in is so strong that you won't open your mouth until you feel like your head's exploding." He continued, "But when you finally do let it in, that's when it stops hurting. It's not scary anymore, it's actually kind of peaceful..."

"Are you saying you hope Matt felt some peace in his last moments?" Ms. Morrell asked.

Stiles shot his head up, giving a small shake side to side. "I don't feel sorry for him. He held us hostage, and threatened all of our lives. I won't feel sorry for anybody that threatens my life, my families, or my friends...okay especially won't feel bad for someone who had a gun held to my girlfriend the entire night. So do I care if he felt some peace in his last moments? Take a guess at my answer."

Ms. Morrel nodded slightly, moving her eyes in my direction. "What about you, Autumn? Do you hope Matt found some peace in his last moments?" I just kept my head down, avoiding any kind of eye contact with her and avoiding giving an answer.

"Okay, well...how about nine year old Matt, Autumn? Do you feel sorry for him?"

I slowly lifted my head up, "Look, just because a bunch of idiots dragged him into a pool when he couldn't swim doesn't really give him the right to go off killing them one by one. And by the way, Sheriff informed me that they found a bunch of pictures of Allison on on Matts computer. Okay, his laptop was exploding with pictures of my best friend. And not just of her though. I mean, he photoshopped himself into these pictures. Stuff like them holding hands and kissing. You know, like he had built this whole fake relationship. So yeah, maybe drowning when he was nine years old was what sent him off the rails, but he was definitely riding the crazy train."

"One positive thing came out of this, though. Right?" She said, with a small smile.

Stiles nodded slightly, "I mean, yeah...my dad's the Sheriff again. But I still feel like there's something wrong between us. I don't know, it's like tension when we talk. Same thing with Scott..."