The NFL Players Girlfriend

Mini Meltdown

"Come on... Come on..."

I mumbled to myself as I paced the floor of my hotel room, willing him to pick up the phone.

I needed my best friend right now. This night with Andrei has my brain so scattered that I can't seem to think straight.

Why didn't he kiss me? What games is he playing?

As much as I like to think of grown past the trauma my ex gave me, it's times like these that remind me that I'm still not totally healed.

I couldn't help but think that Andrei was messing with my head, even if I felt in my heart that he wasn't.

I never tell people that story about Hudson. The only people who knew about that were my parents, Joe, and Dustin.

Why did I tell Andrei?

And I told him about Joe being my brother. That was another secret that I've always kept to myself.

But the way he reassured me about how talented I am made me feel absolutely awful for hiding my family away from the world.

Like I was embarrassed of them or something.

Why didn't I just be honest? Even if being Joe Burrow's sister did attract people to check me out, if I really was as good as I thought I was, it would encourage people to stay for me.

I treated them like I was ashamed to be associated with them, when that wasn't the case. They should hate me for that.

This left me in a fragile mental stage just thinking about it.

I had an amazing time with Andrei, but the night had unfortunately unlocked a vault of emotions I hadn't realized I'd had.

I think the reason I told him about these things was because I felt safe around Andrei. I didn't feel like I had to pretend to be anything that I'm not, he accepted me for who I was. I was comfortable around him.

The fact that I felt secure enough to share these parts of me with Andrei so early on meant something. I wouldn't have told him if I felt that I couldn't trust him.

That made me feel like I could confide in him with personal aspects of my life.

The call went unanswered and I reached Dustin's voicemail.

"Dustin, it's Michaela. I need you to call me back as soon as you possibly can."

I took deep breaths as I tried to calm myself down. I needed to talk to my family. I needed to tell them that I'm sorry for keeping them hidden.

I wanted to talk to Dustin first, but I couldn't wait to talk to my parents.

I needed them to know that I'm sorry and that I don't want to hide who I am anymore.

It was late, and I knew that my parents were likely in bed or soon to be, but I had to do it now.

I snatched my keys off of the hook by the door and was ready to run to my car.

Before I made it out the door, my phone was ringing.

"Dustin! Thank god." I answered as I stepped back inside.

"What's going on? Are you okay?" He asked with deep seated concern.

"No, I don't think I am." I exhaled. 

"How was the date? Did he do something?"

"No, technically he didn't."

I gave Dustin the gist of what I was feeling currently. I wanted to keep most of Andrei and I's night to myself, but I had to make sure that Dusty understood that Andrei really didn't do anything wrong.