i never thought that being happy would be so hard.
waking up everyday,
to the feeling of emptiness..
continuing your day,
with no emotions or feelings to give.
falling asleep,
letting the tears come out silent,
and then repeat,
not letting anybody notice,
how bad you're getting.
2:17AM
"you're useless"
i know, i'm well aware.
"you're replaceable"
i know, i've seen it happen.
"you're annoying"
i realized after all those messages.
1:48AM
do i love myself?
it depends,
if you catch me at the right time,
it's a yes.
if you catch me at the time that i'm wallowing in my tears,
shaking until the point,
that i have no more tears left,
that's a different story.
0:31AM
i feel like i'm drowning in my mind.
my thoughts and feelings
overflowing in my head,
is just like a tsunami.
i scream and scream,
but there's no response.
nobody can hear me,
under the endless waves
of the ocean in the back of my mind.
that one good thought,
always gets swept away by the ocean.
no attention to it,
because it doesn't matter in the end.
1:17AM
i am never anybodys' favorite,
i am always the second option.
never understood, always rejected.
2:00AM
silenced in the depths of the abyss.
screaming throughout the land,
there had to have been,
someone,
who would hear me.
i was the only sound there..
maybe. everybody,
chose to ignore the cries of help,
that i let out.
they couldn't be bothered by it.
2:42AM
in the blink of an eye,
you might not see me again.
both in life and in stories,
a point where i give up.
when sadness overtakes me,
just like the endless nightmares,
that i have in my head.
0:56AM
when i sleep,
i feel like something or someone,
is always watching me.
it's disgusting..
but,
at some point, i realized.
that thing or person,
was the only one,
who actually notices me.
i found comfort in that creature.
3:00AM
