Scattering Lilac Ashes

Chapter One Hundred and Six

Wednesday was a day that Lila didn't see much of Asher for class. This suited Lila just fine, even though she did want to see him. After her talks with Grace, Cecelia, Lucas, Willow and Alice yesterday, Lila felt that she needed time to process. She still wasn't convinced that she'd be having sex with Asher anytime soon, but it was good to know that each relationship was different.

Of course, whilst it was logical that each relationship was different, hearing about the different timelines comforted Lila somewhat. Elise's questions had nettled Lila – as though Lila needed a timeline. Finding out that she didn't seemed to take a load off Lila's shoulders.

Whilst Lila ate her lunch with Asher that day as planned, her mind wondered if he was thinking about it as much as Lila was. Had it even occurred to him that perhaps Lila was interested in having sex with him? Was he even interested in having sex with her?

'Slow down,' Lila reminded herself as she spooned some sticky pineapple stir fry in her mouth. 'Let's see if he's interested in a relationship first, before all of that.'

Lila took a quick peek at Asher, who seemed to be concentrating on his lunch. A slight frown wrinkled her brow as she looked down at her food again. There was still something different about Asher – something she couldn't identify but felt all the same. Was it just because it was the first week back? Or maybe it was because of the semi-constant reminders in PC class about Piper's death and the resources available to assist students with coping? Was Gabriel still being weird? Or was he still pressed about his police interview?

Ultimately, it was no matter for the moment. If she was brave enough, she might ask about it during Study, without the presence of Elise, Grace and Isaac chattering away...

The rest of Lila's classes went by, with Lila concentrating as much as she could. There was definitely a tangible increase in difficulty for these assignments that she'd need to pay attention to, lest she fail.

So, once Study rolled around, Lila was actually grateful. She'd ask Asher about why he seemed off towards the end of their Study lesson – for now, she'd actually focus on her upcoming assignments.

This dedication seemed to surprise Asher, as she could feel him glance at her every so often over the edge of his laptop screen. Eventually, after about ten minutes of this, Lila lowered her laptop screen, looking at him with a raised eyebrow.

"You've just been staring at me all day. Are you good?" she asked expectantly. His eyes flickered back to his laptop, the tips of his ears steadily turning pink.

"I'm fine," he said unconvincingly, his tone somewhat stiff. Lila waited a few moments to see if he would add to that. After he didn't, his eyes unnaturally fixated on one particular spot on his laptop, she sighed and closed her lid.

"Asher, I've been meaning to ask... something seems off," she said gently. His eyes darted to hers before back to his laptop. He swallowed hard but didn't offer anything else – not even a question as to what she meant.

Lila continued to blink at him, waiting for a response. Eventually, he sighed, closing his laptop as well. He pressed his lips together in a hard, thin line before running his fingers through his hair roughly.

"Nothing's off," he said firmly. "Nothing."

"Asher-"

"I'm just trying to readjust to school life," he asserted, though he didn't meet her gaze. "Especially after all the police stuff. It's... been a lot."

He shifted his eyes to his hands, which were twisting together in a way that suggested to Lila that he was incredibly nervous.

"Asher, you know you can talk to me about anything," Lila said softly, her voice taking on a pleading note. "You don't have to sit there, suffering on your own."