Hate Because | Theo Raeken

Chapter Eleven

Darcy was suddenly glad she had the forethought to grab her apartment key out of her bag earlier before heading out with Lydia and Kira. Alexa wasn't home to let her and Theo in, which was a good thing since it meant she didn't have to explain who Theo was and why he was trailing after her into the apartment in the first place. Previous to entering, she hadn't thought twice about letting him follow her through her house.

After hanging up Theo's jacket on a hook, the chill of the apartment hit Darcy. She grabbed a t-shirt from where it was laid across the top of a pile of unfolded laundry and slid it on, nudging the laundry basket out of the way. She made her way to the bathroom, ever aware of a certain presence behind her.

Theo was hard to ignore and he wasn't even doing anything, just leaning against the doorframe of the bathroom watching her. Darcy busied herself by pulling out a raggedy washcloth from the depths of their cabinet next to the shower.

"You didn't have to come in with me," she said, straightening.

He shrugged. "It felt wrong to leave you alone like this." He looked pointedly at her hands. She tightened her grip on the rag to keep it from shaking and rolled her other hand into a fist.

"I'm okay," she muttered, turning on the faucet and waiting for it to turn hot.

"Sure," Theo said like he didn't believe her.

Once Darcy dipped the washcloth under the water, she realized just how badly she was shaking. She let the cloth fall onto the porcelain with a smack and braced her hands on either side of the sink.

Her phone vibrated in her pocket, and she wiped her hand off on her pants to grab it.

               Mother Hen:

               Lydia's going to be okay. She's just going into surgery now but it'll be a while. I'll keep you updated.

               Kira told me what happened. Don't blame yourself, Darce, it wasn't your fault.

Darcy stared at Scott's text, trying to ignore the burn in her throat that promised tears. How could she do anything but blame herself? She bit her lip and told Theo the news, omitting Scott's second text. He just nodded. She picked up the washcloth again, holding it under the hot water and letting it burn her hands. She squeezed the excess water out and brought it to her face to start wiping Tracy's blood off her face and neck.

"It was my fault," Darcy whispered to her reflection in the mirror after a few seconds of unbearable silence. She heard Theo shift his feet but kept her gaze on the mirror. "I was standing in front of Lydia fighting Tracy and I didn't even think of her when I dodged. I heard her heartbeat but... I didn't realize how close I was."

Theo stepped closer and his presence took up too much of the bathroom. "It wasn't your fault."

"It was. I was supposed to protect Lydia and then I put her right in harm's way. I should've taken the hit instead of her. I'd be healed by now, not in surgery." Darcy put the washcloth under the water, watching it run red and pink. She lifted it back up to her face and let the water droplets run down her arms to her elbows.

"You're being too stubborn."

Darcy looked at Theo and his blank face. She frowned in confusion, making him sigh. "Look, it could've been a lot worse. Even if you had taken the hit and not Lydia, Tracy would've probably still gone after her. Then you would've had to just lay there and watch Lydia suffer instead of doing something about it."

Darcy just stared, thinking it over. She hated how much sense he made and she hated how he was looking at her right now: like he'd read her every thought, like she'd laid herself bare for him. She hadn't, she hardly knew him (she wanted to). Darcy frowned.

"I know you're right, but it still feels like..." She looked down at her hands and remembered seeing them dripping red. "It feels like it was my fault because I hadn't been quick enough or good enough to take down Tracy. All I had to do was protect Lydia and I failed."

"But she's not dead."

"She could've been and what if next time-."

"She's not, though, and when it comes to next time, you'll be ready."

Darcy thought it over, then a small smile forced its way onto her lips. "I hate that you're right," she said and the dark fog around her broke when she met his unwavering gaze. The weight on her chest didn't lift, but it lessened. Theo didn't say anything, just shrugged with a small smile.

They were silent for the next few minutes as Darcy continued wiping the blood off of her, listening to each other's heartbeats and the rush of the water.

"You missed a spot," Theo said when she set the washcloth down. He pointed to the right side of her neck, but when she looked in the mirror she didn't see it.

Theo took the washcloth from her and waited for her to move her hair and bare her neck. Darcy rolled her eyes and adjusted for him to wipe at the skin. Theo stepped closer and enveloped her with his presence- the beat of his heart, the mint and pine smell she now associated with him, the gentle brush of his fingers peeking over the edge of the rag against her neck. A question floated at the edge of her mind, something she meant to ask him, but the thought was there one moment and gone the next.

Darcy had to tell herself to breathe- in and out, in and out. She stared hard at his neck, his shoulder, the hem of his shirt's neckline, anything but his face.

"There," he said finally, stepping away. The tension fell from her body and she took back the washcloth to rinse it out. Her heart was beating too fast, and he could hear it- he knew the effect he had on her. She grabbed her towel off the back of the door and wiped her face dry.

"So, am I good to be left alone now?" She asked as she put the towel back and turned to face him. Theo examined her closely, looking her up and down. A shiver crawled down her spine at his scrutiny.

Finally, he nodded and stepped aside to let her pass him. Together, they made their way out of the bathroom and she led him to the front door. She took his jacket from its hook and held it out to him, which he took wordlessly.

Darcy guided the door open for him and he stepped through, only to turn around after he passed the threshold. The skip of her heart had given away that there was something she wanted to say. She bit the inside of her cheek, looking at the jacket. "Thanks, Theo... for everything." She turned her gaze to his face in time to see his lips twitching into a smirk.

"Don't mention it."

And then he turned away and she watched him go. 

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Author's Note:

Hey, y'all, just wanted to say thanks for reading! Feel free to vote or comment if you liked this chapter:)