What's a Heart to a Soul

1.4 Burn Baby Burn

I spun down the rabbit hole and emerged back in the same classroom as earlier

"Congrats on the win last night." I mumbled out nervously to Devin who sat down directly across from me with her arms neatly folded on the desk.

We had put our desks together facing each other and the one on one set up was enough to have my heart racing as I avoided eye contact at all costs.

"Thanks," She nodded and then shrugged casually "I was surprised to see you there."

"Zee and Fino are kind of a thing so my attendance was kind of mandatory since she didn't want to go alone." I explained, continuing to stare down at the grooves of the flat wood.

She now strummed her fingers on the desk, her voice low "That should be interesting."

"Why?" I questioned curiously as I looked up to meet her electric charged gaze that sent me into full shut down as I forgot how to breathe.

She laughed, an angelic melody ringing through the air "I mean it's kinda obvious that Zariah is a drama queen and from my experience Fino hates drama more than anything."

"Zee is not a drama queen." I stated glaring back at her despite the urge to cower under her gaze.

It was admittedly true that we had a tendency to be in the drama and... well we did kind of love it... but we were teenage girls it's normal! I would argue if anything we were pretty low key in comparison to others.

She shrugged as though it were the least of her worries and then pulled her laptop out of her backpack "Regardless of her drama queen status, we need to figure out a plan for the presentation portion of the project."

"I can do the literary devices section and you should definitely be the one to do the character analysis section. I read that portion of the paper you wrote and it was extremely accurate and introspective." I stated calmly as I held her intense stare.

She clearly understood the implication of the statement as she looked back at me "I'm glad you liked it so much, I had a feeling it might resonate with you."

"Thank you for helping me home the other night." I said, my voice low.

She nodded, a sadness behind her crystal eyes "Yeah of course, I'm just glad you're alright."

"I'm not alright." I stated catching myself off guard.

She tilted her head to the side giving me a curious look "What's wrong?"

We're not together despite the fact that it's clearly meant to be and you're just too resentful and stubborn to give me another chance, not that I deserve it I suppose.

"This school year is kicking my ass," I joked, faking a laugh as I pulled my laptop from my backpack "and this project is not helping so I'm ready to get it over with."

The lie fleeted into the whispers of the wind, into the core memory of a thousand forgotten moments. A tension built in my head, the fading of the mocking whispered truths mixing with a familiar melody. I screwed my eyes shut, begging the intensity of the moment to pass.

Dun... Dun... Dun...

I jumped awake into the next dream, a piano appearing at my fingertips.

"You may begin whenever you're ready Blake." My music teacher, Ms. Juniper smiled from her chair on my left.

I looked around, taking in the vibrant musical posters and instruments scattered throughout the room. Everything seemed to fade into itself, folding inward as it outwardly dispersed into itself. The room felt like it was on fire, a surging heat coursing through me as though I myself was a fever dream. The room collapsed, the rubble of a million shades and hues moving together to forge the same darkness that also seemed to come crawling back. In flashes I saw a hundred memories, each one a sucker punch to the gut as the heat built and built to its crescendo. A glimpse of Devin glancing at me on her way by me in the hall. Devin licking her lips as she looked down and then up as she flirted with some girl after her championship victory. The sound of her melodic laugh on loop, a torturous reminder and even that faded away to nothing. Emptiness filled the space as I cradled my knees and let my head rest upon them. My cheeks felt slick with tears and my head pounded with a haze of clouded muddled up thoughts.