What's a Heart to a Soul

2.1 Twenty-Five Years Later

You know that moment right before everything changes? That split second between what was and what will be? For me those moments had always been terrifying. Growing up in the system I had been moved from foster home to foster home creating one life altering split second radical change after another. I had never stayed in one place for long enough to call anywhere home and stability was a foreign concept in my world. I had always feared those moments, and with good reason, but I will never forget the moment that changed my life forever.

I was nineteen and had been sleeping on my friend Benny's couch for the past year since aging out of the system. I had, however, happened to stay at my friend Emmy's the night before due to far too many vodka crans and far less water. In the morning I had slipped out of her apartment so stealthily I put ninjas to shame. I had even made sure to brush my knotted hair and put on a pair of sunglasses far too big for my face before leaving. My phone on the other hand, was completely dead. My drunk self had dumbly forgotten to plug it in and had held it loosely in my hand all through the night, because that was helpful. I would've been late if I had waited for it to charge so I had made the executive decision to wing it for the day. I had set out for my perfect moment with a dead phone and a lovely case of morning breath. After a painfully brisk twenty minute walk, I stumbled into Java Joe's where the mixed scent of fresh coffee and cinnamon greeted me like a warm hug. Benny was waiting for me at our table in the corner. The light was shining brightly through the windows and streaming across his midnight skin. Our regular drink orders were already in front of him, a vanilla bean frappe for me and an Americano for him.

God, he knows me so well.

He was focused on his phone, looking through his curls of jet black hair that were falling in his eyes as he looked at the screen. His infatuation with the device had caused him to not even notice me walking in.

I sat across from him and his bronze eyes turned to gold as they lit right up, "Oh my god Chase why have you not been answering me?"

"My phone is dead." I grumbled crossing my arms over my chest as I leaned back into the chair "Why, what's up?"

His mouth fell open, "You seriously haven't seen it yet?"

"Seen what?" I questioned, my eyebrows knitting together.

He let out a literal gasp as he frantically clicked at his screen, and weirdly this was the moment. Me and Benny sitting at our normal table on a normal Tuesday with our normal coffee orders just like we did every morning. This was no normal day, and yet, there for that moment it was just like any other. He turned it to face me and I felt the world stop spinning. My newest music video, "Dreams of You" had 5 million views and counting. I remember feeling an intense wave of nausea hit me first, followed by an intense desire to scream. The excitement bubbled far over any outstanding reservations I held. It was what I imagine flying and coming out to feel like, all wrapped up into one with a dash of what the actual fuck! That was my moment. My perfectly happy life altering split second radical change moment and yet there was this inescapable feeling that something was still missing.

***

I was surrounded by darkness, the feeling familiar and safe despite my stomach being in knots and my palms thick with sweat. I took in a deep breath and then slowly released it, setting my nerves slightly at ease. I heard the first note of my intro ring out and suddenly the lights were blinding, the crowd screaming so loud I couldn't even hear myself think.

I put everything aside as I stepped out confidently onto the stage, "Are you ready to have a great fucking time tonight Charlotte?"

The crowd went absolutely feral.

I laughed sweetly into the mic, "You know I dreamt of this moment for so long, being able to be on stage and hear a crowd sing my songs with me, I had dreams of you Charlotte."