Manifesting A Dream - A Namjoon FF

Chapter 47

Taehyung was watching TV resting his head on Kookie's lap. Jin and Yoongi were in the kitchen preparing for lunch. Hobi and Jimin were on their phone.

Jimin checks the time, it was almost noon. "Shouldn't they be here by now?", he asks no one in particular. "They're on their way Jiminah", Jin answers dumping the veggie waste in trash can.

Tae sits up, "do you think they did it last night? Yacht dates are quite romantic", he beams.

You had shared pictures of your date on the group chat.

"Offcourse! I'm sure she wouldn't have let go of an opportunity to woo him further", scoffs Yoongi.

"Hyung, we get that you hate her, but please keep those comments to yourself. We all disagree with you on this", Hobi defends you in your absence. Kookie nods, "Hobi hyung is right. We like her so we don't appreciate this animosity."

"Whatever!!", he dismisses and goes back to cooking.

"I guess we'll find out once they're back", sighs Jin wondering how to change Yoongi's mind about you.

Few minutes later, Joonie and you walk in rather tired but content. Not having slept enough the night before and the drive back had exhausted you, however you insisted Joonie takes a nap. He was out for an entire hour.

You greet them with droopy eyes, and plop on the couch beside Tae. "How was the trip Noona?", asks Kookie. "Ooh! The best date of my life really. I didn't know Joonie oppa could plan such cute dates", you smile with eyes closed.

"Joonie oppa???", Jin was jealous.

"She's my girlfriend hyung", Joonie argues.

Jin raises his eyebrows at you, Joonie chuckles.

"Yah! Look at your eyes, go sleep for an hour", Jin scolds.

"Nah I'm fine, let me help you for a bit", you reply walking towards the kitchen. "I SAID GOO", he pushes you out and you quietly go upstairs to sleep.

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Joonie also naps for a bit and is at the table for lunch.

"Jungkookah! Can you please call y/n for lunch?", requests the eldest.

"Hyung, let her sleep she needs it", intervenes Joonie serving himself some rice.

Jimin looked around the table with a smile, they all wanted to know what happened last night.

"You guys mustn't have slept all night", he adds casually. "Not all night, just a few hours though", says Joonie not getting the point.

"Yah paabo he's asking if you had sex last night", Hobi blurts not beating around the bush.

Joonie's face falls at that, "We almost did but we didn't", he states as a matter of fact.

"What does that mean?", Yoongi asks.

"Ahhmmm we were fooling around and suddenly she got uncomfortable. She needs time as she has only slept with her ex-husband so far. She was genuinely scared that she might grow very strong feelings for me and get clingy. I guess sex means a lot to her. Fair enough, right? I said I'll wait", he shrugs with a small smile.

The boys process it quietly, it was the first time a girl had refused to shack up with them. It's usually child's play to get girls.

"I really wish she let's go of her fears. She's scared you might not stay longer, it's okay Joonah give her time. Poor girl's gone through a lot. Heartbreak comes easier than trust these days", Jin pats his shoulder.

"What a load of bullshit!! She's just testing you", spits Yoongi to everyone's annoyance.

"If so, be it. Let her take time, atleast she's treating me as a man and not RM. For the first time I've found a woman who's true to herself. She doesn't have to serve me because I'm Kim Namjoon, which is what many girls try to do."

"Hyung, if she really was a gold digger, she would have done anything to be in my good books, but I see this girl giving it to me straight. Whatever it is. She even knows we can't be together and needs time to be able to be in such a relationship. This to me shows nothing but a strong character and strength. I wish you'd stop slinging mud at her now."

Joon's words rendered them all speechless. It was a testimony of how strong your feelings were for each other.

"You both will go a long way hyung. I'm happy for you", V reaches for RM's hand across the table to squeeze it.

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You were packing in your room that evening, when Tae knocked. "Tae come in", you call out sitting on the floor beside the bed.

"If you're busy I'll come later", he offers. "No, no please come in, I'm feeling a little low already", you smile but looking at him you knew it was serious.

His expression was lost and forlorn, you immediately sit beside him on the bed. "Is everything okay?", you ask.

"Yes, everything is okay, but all of a sudden, it's not. I think I have it under control, but again I break down at the smallest things. I don't know how to get over it", he says sadly.

"Tae I didn't get you"

"My grandma!", his eyes fill, "I still miss her like crazy and cry like it was just yesterday I lost her. And sometimes, I feel it's been very long and her little memories are fading away. You know I suddenly get a feeling that it was all a dream and I've never been with her. It's scary y/n. I think I might go insane, so I push all the thoughts away but again it comes back rushing", he sobs. You rub his back trying to calm him down.

"I totally get you Tae. I go through this exact same thing time and again. You will never get over it, you will learn to make peace with it over time. Missing her, being scared of losing her memories are a part of you now, it's a never-ending grieving process. It's okay, surrender yourself to these thoughts and you'll see. For a long time, I did the same, I still do, I push her thoughts away. You wouldn't believe, I've cried like a fool on my way to work. The cab driver was mature enough to let me cry in peace. That's how strongly I miss her sometimes. But now I know, the feeling will pass. I let the emotion wash over me. After a few tears, I'm back to the present. It's okay love, don't be scared."

He holds your hand, his face wet with tears. "Thanks y/n. RM hyung has told us how dearly you speak about your grandma and how much you miss her. I wanted to talk to you and know how you have it together always."

You chuckle, "Hell no! I don't. But what I do know is, I'm not insane for having these episodes, there's no pattern, there's no given time. It comes when it comes. And I also know I'll be fine as hell after I've shed that last drop of tear. Love doesn't end Tae, it continues even after death. Just the way we show and feel it, changes. You're gonna love your sweet granny till you die."

He sobs more and you pull him into a hug, with tears rolling down your cheeks. A little something healed in both of you that evening.