Promised To Love // r.s.l.♡

6

Ross Lynch

I opened the door very calmly to allow Charlie in. My wife walked inside, sliding off her shoes and perched on the little bench in front of the piano. She looked to me with glassy eyes, and I touched her face. "Never put me through that again"

"I hope not" I sat beside her and she leaned on me. "But at least we said goodbye to our little girl properly"

She nodded, touching the film-covered tattoo on my arm. I convinced her to get the same on her arm so we both attended the funeral with new tattoos.

It was to this day, the most difficult thing I had to force myself to do. I have no words to describe it; it just hurts.

Charlie was tearing at the seems; she was rather distant and now she was staring into space, her shoulders forward. I touched her arm.

"We can do this?"

"I can't. Ross, I think you should leave me" she looked to me. "They told you the reason why Aria died, right?"

"She had COPD, like me. Hence why her trouble breathing. What guarantees you our next child won't have that too- what guarantees you that they won't have the same fate as Aria thanks to their fucked up Mom?!" She blubbered, more tears forming in her eyes.

"I will love them just the way I love Aria. And if they do, well, we'll have to suck it up and move on. Our happy ending is just around the corner, and I will stop at nothing to reach it" I held her in my arms. "I know it hurts, and I kid you not, it hurts like a fucking bitch but we will overcome this exactly how we overcame anything that came in our way. Otherwise, you wouldn't be the one with the ring on you finger, would you?"

She absorbed my words attentively, and nodded.

"And for the memo- they have no hope- both of their parents are fucked up"

She giggled. "Idiot- ugh! I forgot something crucial...how are you?"

"Huh?" I arched an eyebrow.

"How are you? I go on and on about how I feel and never really ask you"

"Aw, baby! You're adorable, did you know that" I smiled. "And if you really want to know, I'm getting there"

"Awesome" she moved my arms and climbed onto my lap with a sigh. I still admire how she can effectively curl into a compact human ball on my two chicken thighs. "You're so cuddly"

"Why thank you" I played with her hair. "Do you want to take a nap? It's been quite the day"

"Yes please"

She uncurled and I lifted her in my arms in the direction of the bedroom. Once we arrived there, I took her dress off for her and handed her my shirt. I changed as she got herself dressed and then sat beside her as she settled to take a nap & I began to do some work.

At a given point, I looked at my wife. She was peacefully in her sleep but, thin lines were starting to appear on her forehead, result of the frowning she's done in the past few days. Her body was little and frail, curled up beside me.

I touched her hair and moved it out of her face. To mess with her, I brushed the tips of her hair on her nose and she whined and moved her face. When I got enough of my fun, I stopped and gave her my hand to hold. She clutched onto it firmly, pressing it against her.

My phone rang on top of my leg, and in order to not wake her up, I quickly answered. "Ssup?"

"Hey man" it was Riker. "How you holding up?"

"Eh, getting there. Charlie's asleep" I answered. "I'm kind of worried though. She's wearing herself out, it's literally the fifth time this week that she had a major freak out and blamed herself for everything"

"Damn, maybe she should go see a therapist; like a specialised child death therapist. Might help her deal with it better"

The terminology he used only made it sink further in. But I will never fully accept it.

I think he realised what he said following the silence. "I wish I was there to give you a hug, man"

"We'll pull through, things will most definitely improve" I tried to sound positive. "I'm sure of that"