Promised To Love // r.s.l.♡

9

Ross Lynch

The words Charlotte said had many meanings; meanings that were apparently too painful for her to elaborate on.

The night she said that, I held her as tight as possible whilst she apologised. It's been a few weeks since, but it seems like bringing up the subject hits a nerve with her.

It hurts having to sit back and watch as she gets more depressed as the days roll by. She's back to work, and instead of that helping it only worsened her condition so I stopped her from working and asked her to take a break, visit a therapist. Like expected, she refused, then questioned, yelled, screamed, paced around, cried and apologised. In the end, she did take my advice.

But I'm worried about her, she's not herself anymore. It even felt strange holding her in my arms, like now. We were sat downstairs watching a movie and she was staring at the screen, not actually taking in anything.

The ring of my phone caused us both to flinch. She looked at me confused. "Work"

"Ah" she moved from me, allowing me to get up and walk to the kitchen.

I poured myself a glass of water and picked up. "Hello?"

"Hi, Ross. It's Carmen here, you know the spreadsheets Zack was supposed to email me? Well.."

"He didn't?"

"Nope" she chuckled. "Would I be bothering if I asked you to send them now?"

"No, no. It's fine, I'll get them to you ASAP"

"Thank you so much, I didn't want to type them up again, you lifesaver" she chuckled. "See you tomorrow!"

"See ya!" I exclaimed back and hung up. Ever since I fired Dinah, I hired Carmen, and for once I can work with a woman who is very focused on her work and has innovative ideas- rather than trying to live her fantasy of the secretary & boss affair.

I grabbed my laptop and sat beside Charlie, who watched me closely. She then sighed. "You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine" she nodded, then got up.

"Where are you going?"

"Leaving you to work"

"You don't have to leave, I'm just sending and reading some emails" I shrugged.

"No, I seem to be a distraction nowadays" she called from the kitchen, slamming the fridge door shut. She then walked by with a bowl of strawberries.

"Are you PMSing again?"

"No"

I faked a 'miaw' which only seemed to heighten her anger. She stopped at the top of the stairs and for a few seconds, I thought that bowl was going to be thrown at my head. With a deep sigh again, she continued.

Once the email was sent, I logged off and walked upstairs. I found Charlie sitting by the window, looking out of the window. I perched beside her, a barrier of silence between us.

"Finished working?"

"Yeah"

"Cool"

I allowed more silence to run through us. "What's wrong Charlie? I'm worried, babe"

"Everything seems to be exhausting for me, no matter how much I sleep, how much coffee I drink or how long I lay down, something inside has given up. My soul is tired"

It killed me to hear the sadness in her voice and in her facial expression. It hurt more because I couldn't do anything about it. I touched her hand. "Then let me in, I can try to help-"

"I've locked myself out" her eyes looked at me, a thin layer of tears within them. All I could do was hold her hand in mine.

It was worse than I thought.

"I feel like an extra in your life" she began. "Just waiting at the wings for my few moments in the spotlight before being neatly put away. I feel like you're more committed to your job than me"

"I can't just ditch 12 years of hard work that easily, Charlotte. I'm trying my best to juggle everything whilst you recover"

"You're doing it again! You're making me feel weak, like a burden to you!" She exclaimed.

"The thing is, you aren't! You just demand attention from me every single second of the day-"

"Sorry if I want to have proper conversations with my husband"

"Whilst he's working"

"You're not helping yourself you egocentric asshole"

I raised my eyebrows. "At least I'm not attention seeking, or controlling-"

"Fucking hell, Ross!" She finally screamed. "Then just divorce me already! Not only am I controlling but I'm also to blame for the death of our child!"

"I may just" I said quietly.

"How reassuring" she stood up, grabbing her shoes. She stopped by the door briefly. "Guess I wasn't your happily ever after in the end"

"Huh" I said. "Guess I wasn't yours"