addicted [hyunho]

[15] new beginnings

-new beginnings-

"Are you tired?" Changbin asked his son, when he noticed that Jamie could barely hold his eyes open anymore and he had probably missed half of the movie they were watching.

They were cuddling on the couch, Changbin's arms protectively wrapped around his son, while Jamie's arms were too short to hug his father completely. So he held onto Changbin's shirt tightly instead, not wanting to let go.

Nodding, Jamie yawned cutely. He looked so peaceful like this, as if he wasn't even thinking about anything else than sleep, when in reality, thousands of thoughts were spinning through his head.

"Then you should better sleep now." Changbin smiled and let a hand run through Jamie's black, slightly curly hair softly. Jamie just sighed and closed his eyes, when his father got up and carried him to his room.

It wasn't that late yet, so Changbin knew that he wouldn't be able to fall asleep yet. So he took his time tucking him in and sitting down at the edge of the bed afterwards.

Jamie was really the most important person in his life and every time he looked at him, he was scared to lose him too. He didn't know what he would do if he couldn't see his small sunshine anymore.

Sighing, Changbin leaned down to press a kiss onto Jamie's forehead. "I love you so much." He'd do anything for his happiness and it only hurt him more to know that there was something bothering his son.

Was he doing something wrong? He couldn't stop asking himself that question. Was it his fault? Changbin just wanted his son to live a normal life, even though it couldn't be considered normal, due to his mother not being in it.

Just when Changbin was about to get up and leave because he thought Jamie had fallen asleep, the boy spoke up. "Dad, it's been so long since you've met someone." That was just one of the thoughts that plagued him and saying it out loud lifted a weight off of his chest.

He knew that his father was doing everything to take care of him and he was thankful for him always being there for him. But he couldn't help but feel guilty at the same time. Changbin was always working, whether he was at work or at home, he never got a break.

Even though Jamie was young, he could understand that it was hard for his father raising him on his own. While other children his age could easily spend time with their mother, when their father was exhausted from work- or the other way around- this wasn't possible for him.

He missed her, of course. He knew that Changbin missed her too. He didn't talk about her often, but sometimes, when he couldn't sleep, he heard him talk to Hyunjin. Hearing his father, who was always so strong for him, cry, shattered his heart. And the next morning he would find a picture of his mother on the kitchen table, that Changbin put back at it's place, even before Jamie could ask a question.

So, he felt like it was his fault that Changbin always stayed at home to take care of him. When he really didn't have any time, Hyunjin would help him, but Jamie knew that Changbin didn't really go out with anyone.

When he was younger, Hyunjin had been able to convince Changbin to go on a few dates, while he had spent time with Jamie. But Changbin had never even talked to him about those women. Again, Jamie blamed himself.

"I mean, yes." Changbin was taken aback from his son's words and to hide his confused expression, he grinned. "You're right. But let me guess, you just want to spend time with uncle Jinnie."

"Yes." Jamie copied Changbin's bright expression, even though he wasn't entirely saying the truth. Of course he loved seeing Hyunjin, but he also wanted his father to be happy again.