Healing hearts

Chapter seventeen

Cassie's pov

"Do you love him?" Noah suddenly asked, catching me off guard. I was tongue-tied, not knowing how to answer. I wasn't sure if I was in love with Xander. I stayed silent, my mind spinning as I tried to think of a response but my brain refused to I just ignored his questions. He noticed but didn't say anything.

We arrived at the property, and as we got out of the car and looked around. Everything seems to be going fine and the man in charge welcomed us and gave us the report.

As we walked around the property, Noah did most of the talking. I let my mind wander, trying to figure out how I felt about Xander. I was drawn back to reality when I heard Noah's voice behind me.

"Hey," he said, startling me.

"Are we done here I asked him?"

"He's going to prepare a file for us, and then we can be on our way," Noah said. I nodded.

"You know," he continued after a while of silence , "you never answered my question."

"I didn't think I owed you an answer". I said

" Yes you do Cassie", he said I want to be sure that you are happy with...............

" with what Noah " I interrupted. "What if I'm not in love with Xander?" I asked, "What would you do about that?"

"Then I'm going to take you away from him," he said, his voice gentle but determined. "You deserve to be with someone you love, Cassie."

"Like you?" I asked, surprised by his words.

"Yes," he said, without hesitation. "I came back to the States to make things right," he said, his voice full of regret. "I was wrong to break up with you that night. I was wrong to leave you, and every day, I hate myself for it. I wish I could go back and do things differently."

"But we can't dwell on the past," I said, trying to keep my voice steady.

"I'm still in love with you," he said, his voice a whisper. "And I'm not giving up on you. I'll wait as long as it takes, until I'm sure that you're happy and in love."

He took my hand, his touch warm and comforting. "I love you, Cassie," he said, and before I could react, he leaned in and kissed me.

My heart raced as I felt his lips on mine, I wanted to kiss him back but my mind thought back to Xander I'm married to Xander now. I can't betray him I had to be faithful.

I pulled away, breaking the kiss. "You shouldn't have done that, Noah," I said, my voice unsteady. "I'm married. You can't do this."

He just looked at me, deep and at that moment, a man approached us and handed us a file. "Everything's done," he said, then left.

"I want to go home now," I said to Noah, not meeting his gaze and went to where we parked the car,  he followed opened the door for me.

I climbed into the car, and we drove home in silence. The tension in the air was palpable, and I couldn't bring myself to look at him. Once we were inside the gates of Xander's place, I got out of the car. "Send my car here when you get back to Brian," I said, my voice cold.

"Cassie, wait," Noah said, following me out of the car. "I'm not sorry for kissing you," he said, his voice quiet. "But I am sorry for the way I did it. I'm serious, Cassie. I'm not giving up on you until I'm sure you're happy. And I know you're not happy here."

"Stop it," I said, my voice rising. "Just stop. I'm not your responsibility anymore. You should go back to Australia or stay here - I don't want to know. I'm happy in my marriage. Just leave me alone."

I turned and went inside, shutting the door behind me.

As I walked into the living room, I saw Xander sitting on the couch, a beer in his hand. He looked up at me, his expression sad. I could tell he had seen me come home with Noah.

"Hey," I said softly,  "Where's Alexander?"

"He's sleeping in his crib," he said, his voice flat. I stood in silence, the tension thick in the air. I wanted to say something, but then, he spoke.

"We had dinner plans tonight," he said quietly, his eyes downcast. I stood there, not knowing what to say. .

Then, he spoke again. "It's because of him, isn't it?" he said, his voice heavy with hurt.

"You're still in love with him, aren't you, Cassie?" he said, his voice cracking. "I'm so sorry if I forced you to be with me, if I took you away from the man you loved."

He broke down, and I went to him, holding his face in my hands and wiping away his tears.

"It's not true," I said firmly, looking him in the eyes. "I'm not in love with Noah. I promise."

But he just looked at me, his eyes full of doubt. "You're lying," he said, his voice barely a whisper. "I know it."

"Xander, ," I said softly , "I met you after things ended with Noah. You didn't take me away from him."

"Then why don't you want to be with me?" he asked, his voice breaking. "Do I repulse you so much that you don't even want to try?"

"Of course not!" I said, my voice firm. "It's not that."

I took a deep breath, trying to find the words to explain. "The problem is that I'm scared of having a sexual relationship with you," I confessed and he looked at me confused.

"What?" he asked, looking at me in confusion. "Why?"

I took a deep breath, steeling myself for what I was about to say. "That night we spent together was my first time," I said, my voice shaking. "And whenever I think about it, I don't have good memories. It was so hurtful and uncomfortable, and I'm scared of feeling that way again." I confessed.

He looked at me intensely I had no idea what he was thinking .

"Why didn't you tell me this?" he asked softly.

.

"Because I knew you would feel guilty," I said, my voice barely audible. "And I don't want you to. I've forgiven you, I just need to work on myself."

He looked at me for a while "Do you want to seek professional help for that?" he asked, his voice gentle.

"I think that might be the best solution right now,. "I'll make an appointment with a therapist tomorrow."

He nodded, his eyes full of understanding. "Everything is going to be okay, Cassie," he said, pulling me into a tight hug . "I promise." He kissed me gently on the forehead

I closed my eyes, letting myself relax into his embrace. Before I knew it, I was fast asleep.