[Sal Fisher x FemReader] - Chaotic Melody

𝟙𝟚. 𝕎𝕖 𝕙𝕒𝕧𝕖 𝕒 𝕕𝕖𝕒𝕝

You wanna take, take, take
You wanna break, break, break my heart
Now I know my place
I know just what you are

As I stepped into the warm cascade of shower, my mind drifted back to Sal, the memory of our heated encounter in the car lingering in my thoughts like a stubborn echo. 

The wated cascaded over my skin, soothing and invigorating as I allowed myself to succumb the memories of our passionate embrace. I closed my eyes, my breath hitching as I recalled the feel of Sal's lips against mine. 

The heat of his touching igniting a firestorm of desire within me. With each passing moment, the memory grew more vivid, more intoxicating, until I could practically feel his hands roaming eagerly over my body, his touching setting my skin ablaze with sensation. 

I lingered beneath the warm embrace of the water, I knew no matter how hard I tried to forget, the memory of Sal would always linger, haunting me like tantalizing dream that I could never quite escape. 

As I layed in my bed with DeeDee next to me curled up in small ball, my thoughts continued to swirl around Sal. Despite my best effort to push him out of my mind, he remained a persistent presence, his imagine, his face flickering in my mind. 

But how could I avoid the idea? He made me cum, three times, we kissed, I saw his face. This isn't something people who hate each other would do. Right?

My mind began to wander down a dangerous path.

The thought of harboring a crush on Sal was both thrilling and terrifying, opening up a Pandora's box of possibilities.

Hell, if I hadn't been so transparent from the beginning and kept staring at him, maybe he wouldn't have even noticed, he would have left me alone, he would have kept up the outright hatred. 

Why did I just have to start being attracted to someone who was hurting me so badly, why couldn't I control my emotions, words, and other things around someone who abused those things. 

He's taking advantage of my insecurities and his presence. I feel like I'm building a house of cards and every time he just comes up and says one word or looks at me and the house is knocked down. 

I feel violated. Should I feel violated? After I literally jumped on his lap and dry-fucked him.

I didn't feel physically abused, but mentally, he massaged my thoughts so badly that I couldn't control them, but everything else was based on my thoughts. And yet all I had to do, was to pull myself together, put up a stronger defense.

Learn to resist it, resist him. I'll have no reason to start anything unless he starts it, it'll be easy, won't it? But what if we're on our own again, what if he has the opportunity again? What if he wants to take every opportunity for physical contact from now on. 

Do I want that physical contact? 

More than before. 

But I can't. 

The idea of crushing on him is getting more and more colorful. It's more vivid now, and after today, it's like it's burned into my skin.