The Ninja Slayer Extras: Headcannons and Drabbles

Incorrect Quotes #11

Randy: Good. Thanks, dad.
Zenitsu: You just called Giyuu "dad". You just said "thanks, dad."
Randy: What? No, I didn't. I said "thanks, man".
Giyuu: Do you see me as a father figure, Randy?
Randy: No. If anything I see you as a bother figure 'cause you're always bothering me.
Zenitsu: Hey! Show your father some respect!

Randy: Please! Pretend I'm useful!

Zenitsu: I love making parties more interesting by telling strangers "I want you to know that I personally have no problem with you being here."

Randy: Guys, I have a question.
Zenitsu: kys <3
Randy: I love you too.
Giyuu: Ah, yes. Siblings.

Randy: Well, needless to say. Uh-oh Spaghetti-os.

Zenitsu: Dammit, you ruin everything!
Randy: You're welcome.

Zenitsu: What? I'm not aggressive!
Randy: Last Tuesday, you wacked me with a pair of crocs and stole my chocolate chips?
Zenitsu: Survival of the fittest, bitch.

Randy: Hey Zenitsu?
Zenitsu: Yeah?
Randy: What's your favorite color of the alphabet? True or false?
Zenitsu:
Zenitsu: ...What.

Giyuu, digging: Long story short, this is my grave.......Want me to make you one too?

Randy, holding up his class notes: And then this doodle of a burrito because when I first read Aristotle, I thought it was pronounced like "Chipotle".
Randy, in shock: Wait a minute, is it "Chip-o-tottle"?

Randy: Are you having another depressive episode?
Giyuu: A depressive episode?
Giyuu: I'm having a depressive series and we're just on season one.

Randy: How many vampires do you think have been hit by a car backing up in a parking lot because the driver couldn't see their reflection?
First Ninja: I've never considered it but you're really shining light on what's probably a very serious issue.

Zenitsu: Randy learned how to fold origami penguins from Giyuu the other day. I told him, "I feel a little bad for the penguins, it's hot here", and the next day he put them in the fridge.

Giyuu: What time is it?
Randy: I don't know, pass me that saxophone and we'll find out
Randy: *BLASTS the saxophone*
Zenitsu: WHO THE FUCK IS PLAYING THE SAXAPHONE AT TWO IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Randy: It's 2 am

Giyuu: Seriously, Zenitsu, how many people would you have killed if we'd asked you to?
Zenitsu: That's not important
Giyuu: I DISAGREE.

Randy: I know where you live.
Zenitsu: Where?
Randy: In a house.

Zenitsu: I have lots of friends!
Randy: Name one.
Zenitsu: Well, there's-
Randy: Name one you haven't gotten incredibly angry at.
Zenitsu: Hey, that's not fair, then there isn't any!

Zenitsu, shooing Giyuu away: Can you go be depressed over there? You're bumming out my whole area.

*In a horror movie situation*
Randy: I've got no service in my phone here.
Giyuu: Shoot, my battery just died.
Zenitsu: Sorry guys, I just broke my phone with a hammer.
First Ninja, talking about the Nomicon: Guys, my phone is a book.

Randy: I can't believe there's a cat somewhere in my house. Amazing feeling. Love cats. And he's here, in my house! Somewhere! And I may encounter him! What a treat.

Randy: Hey, wanna hear a funny joke?
Giyuu: I only like dark humor.
Randy, turning the lights off: What do you call a fake noodle?
Giyuu:
Randy: An IMPASTA!

Zenitsu: I didn't even realize how sarcastic I was being. It's starting to become a problem, I think.

Zenitsu: You're ignoring all your problems.
Giyuu: I know.
Zenitsu: You also know it's an unhealthy coping mechanism?
Giyuu: I'm ignoring that fact as well.
Zenitsu:

Giyuu: Name a more iconic duo than my crippling fear of abandonment and my anxiety. I'll wait.
Randy: You and me!
Giyuu: *tearing up* Ok.