The Ninja Slayer Extras: Headcannons and Drabbles

Incorrect Quotes #44

Giyuu: First Ninja, you look deep in thought. What's wrong?
First Ninja: Did you know you can look at any object and know what it's like to lick it? Even if you've never touched it before?
Giyuu: I'm never asking you anything ever again.

Giyuu: Look guys, I need help.
First Ninja: Love help?
Zenitsu: Financial help?
Randy: Emotional help?
Nomicon: Help moving a body?
*Everybody looks at Nomicon*
Nomicon: What?

Giyuu: Sometimes I wonder if I'm hearing voices.
Giyuu: Then I remember that's the last bit of sanity I have trying to get me to fall asleep at a reasonable time.

Nomicon: Please confirm to your knowledge that you are not a fully robotic being, were born an organic creature, and do in fact possess what many cultures would call a soul.
First Ninja: What? "To my knowledge"? Do a lot of people not know if they're robots?
Nomicon: Thank you for your confirmation.

Randy: Did you hear that!? Zenitsu just threatened to destroy my lego AT-AT!
Giyuu: ...You just threatened to kill him in his sleep.

Randy: We've been conducting an ongoing study to see what Zenistu will and will not eat.
First Ninja: Grass? Yes!
Randy: Moss? Yes!!
First Ninja: Leaves? Ohh, yes!
Randy: Shoelaces? Strange but true!
First Ninja: Worms? Sometimes!
Randy: Rocks? Usually nah.
First Ninja: Twigs? Usually!
Randy: Giyuu's cooking? Inconclusive!
Nomicon: How did you... test this?
Randy: You just hand him stuff and say 'eat this' and if he eats it, he eats it.
Nomicon: ... I don't know how to feel about this.
Giyuu: IS THAT WHERE ALL MY SPARE SHOELACES WENT?

Giyuu: Nothing in life is free.
Randy: Love is free!
First Ninja: Adventure is free.
Nomicon: Knowledge is free.
Zenitsu: Everything is free if you take it without paying.

Randy: Why isn't the statue smirking at me?
Zenitsu: It isn't smirking at anyone, they're all just imagining it.
Randy: Three of us saw it, Zenitsu. How do you explain that?
Zenitsu: *points at Giyuu* Sleep deprivation. *points at First Ninja* Paranoia. *points at Nomicon* Delusional personality disorder.

Giyuu: You're a loose cannon, Zenitsu.
Zenitsu: No, I'm not. I'm a cannon maybe, but a loose cannon? Is that what you think of me?
Giyuu: I think you play by your own rules.
First Ninja: No way, he thinks rules were made to be broken.
Giyuu: Those are all attributes of a loose cannon.
Zenitsu: No, I'm just a reckless renegade. Randy is a loose cannon.
Randy: *smashes a chair*

Randy: You really put aside everything and came all this way for me? How did you even get here so fast?
Zenitsu: Several traffic violations.
Giyuu: Three counts of resisting arrest.
First Ninja: Roughly thirteen cans of energy drinks.
Nomicon: Also, that's not our car.

Nomicon: There are seven chairs and ten kids. What do you do?
Giyuu: Have everyone stand.
Randy: Bring three more chairs!
First Ninja: The most important ones can sit down.
Zenitsu: Kill three.