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My nose tickled slightly as it dragged over the cocaine, slowly absorbing it. One of his hands I could feel holding my hair while the other was placed on my waist. "Does it feel good, baby?" His voice echoed softly in my ear.
I hated him for it, again,but only partially, because the other part of me that didn't hate him felt freer than ever in his presence. I didn't have to pretend everything was fine. I was allowed to be the drug-addicted Anna in front of him without feeling like he was judging me for it. Probably because he was just like me.
It was Rafe. The boy I was supposed to hate, but somehow I felt like there was a connection between us. Maybe it was the drugs or the sexual desire we had for each other... or it was more than just that.
For a moment my vision was obscured so I leaned back. As quickly as possible, he wrapped his arms around me, like he was waiting to do that. So that I wouldn't completely black out from holding my head straight up he carefully pressed my head to his chest.
"I can't..." I was cut off from my own gasping as tears streamed down my cheeks.It felt like my whole life was flashing before my eyes, all the little moments. From playing volleyball with my dad when I was little to saying goodbye at his funeral. In my head, everything happened over and over... and over again.
"Anna, are you okay?" Rafe asked, looking down at me, his arms still where they were before. I could hear the concern in his voice and since my ear was right against his heart, I heard it start to beat faster. Shaking my head, I closed my eyes and then felt him slowly stand up with me in his arms and lay me down on the couch. "Do you need water or anything else? Just tell me what you need and I'll make sure you get it." he sat on the floor
After I didn't answer his question and just stared at the ceiling, he shook my arm lightly
"I'm sorry. There are so many things going through my mind right now." I wiped the tears from my cheeks and tried to sit up, but to no avail. I immediately felt dizzy again and when Rafe noticed, he pushed me back onto the couch carefully. "Do not move."
"And just tell me what's going on."
He wanted to know?Certainly if I wouldn't have been completely stoned, I would have questioned his behaviour, but in this state I didn't care. I just need someone to just listen to me
"I miss him,"I stammered.
"Who? Your dad?"
There it was. The feeling I always had when someone mentioned him. Obviously, I thought about him every free minute of my day, but an unbearable ache still filled my chest whenever someone talked about him.
I nodded, feeling weaker than ever.
"Anna, I know how that feels. My mother is maybe not dead, but I will probably never forget the pain she caused me when she left me like I was worth nothing."he started and I just listened to his words, while I felt his hand slowly rubbing my arm
"I know what it feels like when your world suddenly falls apart and you think that cocaine could make something better, but mostly just fucks you up even more."
"But I can't stop, Rafe." I finally managed to look at him.
For a while,he didn't say a thing but just ran his hand over his face. The slightly stressed way in which he did it, showed that he probably didn't have situations like that with his clients often. However, I was still shocked at how he opened up to me. It was now clear that his aggressive and arrogant nature was just a facade designed to distract from his vulnerable side- the side where Rafe was still a little boy longing for his mother and her love.
"I think it's the best if I just drive you back home,"
I saw it coming...He pushed me away. : : : : : : : :
"So you're not going to tell me what happened between you and Rafe?" JJ took off his shirt and got into bed. It had already been a few hours since Rafe dropped me off at home. Apart from the severe headache, I had no other pain and felt better again.
"Nothing happened,"
"Don't make me sleep in Kie's room tonight." I threatened and he just groaned in annoyance. After washing my makeup off, I got into bed with him. JJ and I always slept in the same bed, it was nothing new and it's never been weird in some way.
"Do you think he's better looking than me?" The question came suddenly and I turned around to see from his face if he was serious about it. Apparently he was, which almost made me laugh out loud.
"No one looks better than you..." I replied, closing the little cap that separated our bodies from touching each other.
I didn't feel the same way as I did when Rafe was just a few inches away from me. The expensive smell of his that rose up my nose every time was missing, as was his body frame that always intimidated me.
JJ could never compare to Rafe; he could never evoke the same feelings within me.
"Is that so?"
JJ pulled me closer, his hands firmly grasping my waist, and our lips met in a kiss.
RAFES POV
She was on top of me, her voice filled with pleasure as she sensually rocked her hips. As I observed her movements, an imagination took hold of me, conjuring an entirely different person. In my mind, it was Anna who rode me with slowness, her flawless and beautiful body gracing mine. The pleasure I would bring her caused her to roll her eyes and delicately bite her lip.
Anna had an unbelievable hold over me, making it impossible for anyone else to compare.
