Not My Pyre (A Pearl-Centric Double Life FanFic)

Chapter Eight: Love and War

Pearl lay awake that night, thinking about Cleo's words. A funeral pyre.

She remembered a poem her father used to say when she was little.

The sky is on fire,

The world burns to the ground,

But this will not be my pyre,

Nor that of my dear hound.

It was about determination through the worst. No matter what happens, you must keep trying to survive. Giving up, giving in, that was letting them win. Her father usually also would speak about how you should do something about the wrong you see in the world.

Living in a world where some people were so desperate for money that they would join a blood sport was wrong. And Pearl wanted to make her father proud, to work to fix the wrong in the world.

The sun was rising. Pearl wouldn't be getting any more sleep, and she wanted to get to work on fixing this. How? She didn't know, but she would work on it. The Games had caused far too much pain - she thought of Joel, and his missing fiancee, of Jimmy and how hurt he was by Scott, of all the other pain she hadn't yet seen - and launched herself out of bed, ready to face the day.

Then she thought of something else. Scar. He was happy, still. The joy he got from the pandas, even after how lonely he was in Last Life, and being beaten to death by his best friend in Third Life. Did the Games make life better for him? Is that why he was somehow happy anyway?

Pearl decided to go talk to him about it.

~*~

"Well, well, well! What's this? A secret sugarcane stash?"

Grian jumped. "Uh- No!"

Pearl smirked. "Ah, yes. The cave with sugarcane growing in it isn't a secret sugarcane stash. Of course, of course. How foolish of me." Pearl rolled her eyes. "Give me four papers, or I'm telling everyone where this is. Or stealing it myself."

"That's rude." Grian observed.

Pearl tsked. "'All's fair in love and war.'" She quoted - from what, she couldn't remember. She'd just heard the phrase around.

"It is, isn't it?" There was sorrow in Grian's voice, more than would be warranted for losing just four papers.

"Right, what's wrong?" Pearl asked.

"What?" Grian looked at her.

"You sounded way too sad there for if it was over the papers. What's wrong?"

"I-" Grian hesitated, then continued. "In Third Life, Scar let me kill him. He'd say he didn't if I asked, but I know he did. I know it. I've always been vicious, but his hits weren't hard enough. He should have been able to kill me. I don't... I don't want that to happen again. I don't want to kill him, I want to be the one letting him kill me. So... So I'm going to make him mad at me, really mad, so that if we're the final two, then he won't hold back. He'll win."

Pearl had so many questions. This seemed like a terrible idea. "How do you even know you'll make it to the final two?"

"It's not likely, but it isn't worth the risk. I can't- I can't kill him again, Pearl." Desperation bled into his voice. "We got to the final two once, we can do it again. I don't wanna risk it..."

"What if you could just... Be friends again? Be nice to each other? There's six other pairs who could win. Maybe you should just take this chance to be friends with him again."

"I doubt he wants to be friends with me, with how I swindled him in Last Life. I also left him to be alone... He isn't happy about that, I've heard him talking to the pandas."

"How do you plan to make him mad at you?" Pearl had one more question after this, then she would try to convince him not to go through with it.

"I'm going to betray him. I want to spend more time with BigB, so I'm going behind Scar's back and hanging out with him. We're 'secret soulbounds' now."

"You've already started?" That would make this harder to fix. He'd have to stop meeting with BigB, maybe explaining it to him.

"Yeah. I have."

"Alright. Okay..." Pearl would think about how to help Grian once she had all her information. "Last question: Love or war?"

"What?" Grian blinked at her.

"'All's fair in love and war.' That's how we got here. So which is it? Love or War?"

Grian blushed and looked away.

"Oh... You can't. You can't hurt him like that. This will hurt him - he's your friend and you're betraying him - and being nice to him might hurt him. And I don't think he blames you for what happened in Third Life." It was so unfair that there would ever be a situation like this, where someone would rather have the one they loved hate them than risk being forced to hurt them again. The Games were wrong.

"I-" Whatever had happened to get Grian to talk to her ended. "Did you just come here to bug me about sugarcane and to try to give me advice or is there something you want?"

Pearl sighed. She wouldn't be able to fix this yet. "I'm looking for Scar. I wanted to ask him something about Last Life. I won't mention anything you said." Pearl felt bad about lying to Grian, he reminded her of Apollo and had been honest with her, but she didn't want him to know about her plans just yet.

"Okay. He's in the panda reserve, as usual." Grian gestured in its general direction.

"Okay. Thanks." Pearl headed off."

~*~

Pearl's advice was good, but... Grian couldn't. The thought of killing Scar again... He couldn't risk it, he couldn't.

He took a shaky breath and started moving the sugarcane. Pearl knew where it was now, and he couldn't let it stay that way.

If only he had listened, if only he had done what he was supposed to, and never joined the Games. Just watched...