Perfect Dark | Danmachi

Chapter 20

"Bell, you have a visitor. I'm going to send her up, okay?" Hestia said through the closed door.

Her?

I really didn't want to get up and get dressed. I had planned to laze around my room the entire day, staring at the blank walls. I know, I know. I'm not locked up anymore! I should be outside, enjoying the fresh air of freedom. But today, I really wanted to turn off the part of my brain that was causing me to be so stressed out lately.

Deciding whoever it was could see me as I was today, I didn't dare budge from bed. I pulled the covers up to my chin, soaking in the warmth left behind from the deep dreamless sleep I was granted.

I wasn't haunted by nightmares, or fear, in fact I didn't wake up once in the night. Even if last night was the first time I had slept well in weeks, I still felt the heavy bags under my eyes. One night of good sleep couldn't reverse the months I spent on edge.

Even before everything that happened with Freya, I hadn't recovered fully from being stuck on the deep floors. The number of times I've dreamt of losing my arm, waking up screaming in pain have eluded me.

I wish this lingering fear would let go of me.

I'm doing it again; I'm worrying without reason.

"Come in." I say quietly after hearing a soft knock at the door.

If it were anyone else, I would have been fine in my current state, cowering underneath the blankets. But it was her...

"Bell, good morning." Aiz smiled softly as she peaked in through the door.

A high-pitched hiccup escaped my mouth and I panicked, pulling the blanket over my face. "Goodmorning, Aiz."

I could feel the blankets being pulled back slowly, and my cheeks were turning red. The sword princess was in my room?! I'm screaming inside, but she carefully makes sure not to touch me while exposing my face from the blanket.

Aiz pulls up a chair and sits next to my bed, setting her sword down on the ground before crossing her legs. "I would like to go out to eat, with you." She smiles, and for the first time I see a light pink tint come to her cheeks.

I've sort of assumed up until now, that she never felt anything. Made of stone, she hides all her emotions behind her sword.

I'm at a real loss for words, wishing I would have taken the time Hestia gave me before sending her up to get dressed. Instead, I pulled the blanket over my face again, burying myself in the comfort of my own bed. "I would like that, too."

I can't hide the fact that I've always felt this wild admiration for Aiz. It isn't just that I'm attracted to her, I want to get strong enough to fight by her side. No, to protect her.

What a team we would make.

"Bell..." She pulled the blanket from my face again, probably tired of my childish mannerisms. After all, I'm still just a boy at heart. I can't hide behind this blanket forever.

There it is again, another nervous hiccup. I covered my mouth to hide my embarrassment, speaking through my fingers. "Yes?"

"Is now not a good time?"

I'm trying really hard not to freak out, but the sounds that are coming from my mouth are those of someone very, very inexperienced with being around the girl they have always dreamed of.

"I... uh... Right now... is great! But, would you mind giving me a little bit to get dressed?"

Aiz smiled, picking her sword off from the ground. She didn't say anything else, just nodded and disappeared out the door.

The breath of relief that escaped me when she finally felt the room could probably be heard from miles away. I needed to gather my thoughts, and get dressed. After all! Aiz wanted to go out to eat with me?

So much for not being stressed today.

火

I'm really fighting to try not to make a fool of myself. I'm still so nervous around her, is that normal? I feel like at any point I might just pass out in front of her.

But it wouldn't be the first time I've done that, now would it?

We are sitting at a table in the corner of the Benevolent Mistress, and I'm thankful for not sitting at the bar like normal. I have no reason to be embarrassed, if anything I'm reaching a milestone in life right now.

Maybe I can just die happy right after this.

"Bell? Are you okay?"

"Huh? Ahh...." I look down at my hands that haven't stopped trembling since we sat down. I hide them under the table, leaning in closer so I can talk quietly.

"I'm okay."

Aiz raises her brow at me, but before she can say anything else Anya comes to take our order.

After we are left alone again, she leans forward on her elbow to rest her chin in her hand. "I remember everything from that night."

My lip started to quiver.

Anya returned with an ale, and I don't think I've ever drank faster in my life. "Another please."

Anya's smile beamed as she shook her head and disappeared again.

"I don't expect you to tell me what happened that night. I've just never seen you, so defeated before..." Her eyes filled with remorse as she looked at my pained face.

I can't hide from that night. I know what I said.

Clenching my hands into fists beneath the table, I closed my eyes and spoke quietly.

"I meant what I said." I didn't hesitate or stutter, wanting her to see that I was serious. I opened my palms to rest them on my legs; I needed to calm down. That night was a trivial point for me, and thinking about what happened after seeing Aiz, was tearing the scar on my heart open.

Anya returned with another ale, then our food. Thankful for the distraction, I stuffed my face to keep my mind from wandering.

火

Standing outside the gates to the Hearth mansion, Aiz finally reaches for the sleeve on my jacket. I'm caught off guard, and instinctively try to yank my arm away, but she lets go.

Instead of being upset that I tried to pull away from her, she just smiles and holds her hands behind her back. "We leave for our expedition tomorrow... but can we do this again, when I get back?"

I take a deep breath, fighting the anxiety that is swelling in my heart. If there is one thing I know about adventurers, it's that you never know when they are going to return.

Or if they will.

I took a step forward and wrapped my arms around her, putting my cheek against her head. I could smell the sweet scent of her hair, and the warmth of her breath on my shoulder.

Ignoring the screams from my tortured heart, I whispered close to her ear before letting go. "I love you Aiz, be safe."