Trevor's POV:
I stayed on that page for what felt like hours when in reality it has only been 8 minutes since Brittany left.
I counted the date back in my head and it was exactly 2 months after my birthday, my 18th birthday. There was little pages she'd ripped out of another book and glued in there. Folded up neatly so they could all fit on the 2 A4 pages.
I was scared to read them just by the title it made me so scared.
I opened one page slowly, looking around to make sure no one was around me. But by now the deck was pretty busy as it was now peak of the day where everyone usually goes to the pool.
I decided i needed privacy so i grabbed the book and headed for a private corner in the end of the deck where no one was.
I opened the page, rejusting my position embracing myself for whatever happen's next.
" I have been feeling really sick for the past 3 week's or so, Trevor has been away doing some gigs with the band so it's just me. I told him i would be fine by myself but 2 weeks have passed and i am not feeling the slightest bit better.
This morning Sam told me i need to go to the doctor after she finally got it out of me of the one night that Trevor and i spent together.
She booked the earliest appointment she could. So we got Jennie to come along the way for moral support, knowing i was probably pregnant.
Trevor rang me this morning to see how i was feeling and i lied and told him i was feeling alot better but going to the doctors, he didn't think i was pregnant and i'm glad he didn't because i walked in there with every hopes that i wasn't..
I flicked to the next folded page, feeling a lump form in the back of my throat. I knew what was coming next, but i continue on..
Oh boy, was i wrong.. I was 2 months along, i hadn't put on really any weight so no one even knew. Not even me, until now. I cried a lot and was scared to tell Mum and Dad, Jennie said she'd support me all the way and so did Sam.
I didn't want this though, i am only so young. Young enough that everyone classes me as a child myself, i can't have a child. At least not yet, i knew Trevor would be a good dad.
Although i hadn't even considered how he might take this, i only considered myself up until this evening when Mum asked "how did trev take it, darling?" i told mum i hadn't told him yet because he had a gig till late and i hadn't rang him yet for the night as he warned me earlier this morning how busy his day was. So i didn't lie. I knew he was stressing and that was hard to take as he never gets stressed, but me i always do.
Mum and Dad aren't happy, especially Dad. But they have every ounce of faith within Trevor and I that we will do the right thing.
At this point i don't know what that right thing to do is..
I flicked to the next page continuing on, thousands of thoughts ran through my head but mostly i wondered where did i go wrong? Why didn't she tell me..
"Tonight Trevor rang me and asked me with that beautiful sweet tone "how did the doctors go, baby?" he always calls me that, but this time it was different. I had a baby. Growing inside of me was a baby, his baby. I was no longer going to be his baby anymore..
Whilst i sat on my end of the phone call rubbing my tummy i tried to be strong and not cry, a couple tears formed but i cleared my throat and told him "everythings fine, im better. Don't stress." but that was a lie. I am crumbling, but how can i break to my boyfriend that on his birthday that one time we spent together would change his life forever.
Conversation continued on and he told me what could have been the best new's i could have heard, but it wasn't atleast not with everything going on.
"Me and the boy's got a deal today baby, we will be doing opening act concerts for the next 6 months." he told me with all the enthusiasm in the world.
The math checked out 2+6=8, theres noway he could be leaving me up until im 8 months along.
"I have 2 weeks till we start but don't worry we can spend those next couple weeks together. And i can fly you to come visit me once a month, how cool is this babygirl?" he told me it like it was nothing, like he wasn't just preparing to leave me for 6 months and not even consider me or how i felt...
By this point a few tears have slipped, the happiest time of my life should have been those 6 months touring. But OUR happiest time in our lifes, should have been the baby and me looking after Britt when she needed me. I flicked to the next tattered page, i knew that when Britt was writting these she was beginging to cry and get annoyed, you could tell by her tear stains on the ripped crumbled pages. But it didn't stop me from reading the next part..
"Heck, why am i the one being selfish? This is what his worked so hard for, this is what every small trip away from me has been for.
He's made it, but i can't stop him now. He is going to be a dad too, but i can't tell him this now. He's over the moon, but i can't ruin this for him now.
I can't let him know, 2 weeks is all i have left with him until he leaves for 6 months.
The doctor gave me some tablets so i can stop being sick, and i won't begin to show in 2 weeks time.. When he comes back, i'll almost have had the baby and he'll find out then... After his lived the last 6 months of his life away from me, oh but..
How can i visit him once a month without showing? I'll get bigger and he'll start to wonder what's going on. Damn, didn't think of that.
Oh well, it'll be okay. I love him, theres no other possible way around this without crashing all my boys hopes and dreams...
Welcome to the family little one, mommy and daddy love you no matter what..
Britt xx
By this point i was crying. I cannot believe she didn't tell me. I wanted to read the next few entires and see but i also knew what was coming up and the guilt i felt at this point in time, made me re-think what am i even doing anymore?
I can't love Brittany again knowing how badly i hurt her, and i know deep down she can never love me again as i destroyed her.
"MAN, YOU OKAY?" Isaac asks as he walks over to me.
"We've been looking for you for hours." Lamar tells me as he takes a seat
I shut Britt's book and carry it closely to me.
"Reading that again?' Lamar asks.
"Yeah." i reply quietly.
"I wonder if Britt still has her's.." Isaac asks as he eats his donut.
"I wonder to." i mumble.
Lie, i had it in my hand and it carried more secrets then i could possibly begin to understand the pain she went through, because of me... Really messed up Trevor....
Brittany's POV:
"Jennie have you seen my memory book from Trevor & I?" i yell out in panick as i begin emptying my backpack onto our room's cream carpeted ground.
"No sorry babe, did you leave is somewhere?" Jennie asks sweelty as she walks into our bedroom and looks around for it.
I think back for a minute, trevor, talk, chat, ella, baby, dad, oh no.. I hope i didn't leave it when i panicked.. Made me panick all the more. He was NOT finding out now.
An: hey hey so more on brittanys entry soon and throwback to that time in there life coming up soon, xx thanks for all your support and comments xx.
