You Smell Like Hope

29. Wonderland

We found Wonderland
You and I got lost in it
And we pretended it could last forever, eh, eh
We found Wonderland
You and I got lost in it
And life was never worse but never better

Roses hope and love.

Jisung's pov.

I stared at myself in the mirror trying to wrap my head around everything that happened the last few months. Life runs and I am trying to keep up with it but in reality I just want a break, a minute to breathe and look around. I need to stop and look at how many pages I have finished from the book... And how many are left.

But there's no time for that because right now I'm getting ready for another performance even though I still don't understand how I managed my first one. Right now I'm in a well fitted suit that hugs my waist beautifully. Right now I'm about to perform in front of my brother.

And I really cannot wait to do so.

I waited for my name to get called like last time. Taking the time to calm my nerves and reassure myself that it's going to be fine. Because this time I really do believe that things can get better no matter how bad they seem. This time I'm going with hope. Enough hope to make me smile as I walk to the stage.

Enough to make me stand tall and proud on the stage. I am not afraid because I know they are there looking at me and they are the only ones that matter.

I am not afraid because I know it won't be the end.

I greeted the crowd and let my eyes search for a specific pair. When they finally found what they were looking for they gave me the permission to continue. So I held the mic close to my mouth and hummed the melody slowly until the music started playing then I started singing the lyrics. Making sure to roll every syllable clearly on my tongue and breathing when I need without cutting my singing. All the training I have been doing. All the nights I spent practicing alone at home and the trials I performed for the team. A rush of excitement creeped into me at the realisation that they did not go useless. That I am standing here making myself proud after all the hard work. I am making them proud as well.

My life is so unfair
Everyone sees me as if I'm the beast out there
My dreams become nightmares
Please give me a break right now
I wanna just be myself
No one can truly see
The human inside me

Chan is looking at me with a fond smile. He helped me and Felix write the song and I can tell he is as proud as us watching it coming to life.

Felix is looking at me like he wants to jump on the stage and hug me which makes me smile but I quickly controlled it so it doesn't affect my voice.

Seungmin is looking at me like he cannot believe that this is actually true. I'm looking back with the same thought.

Ever since you came into my life
You taught me all about unconditional love
I think about you saving me every night
Felt like an angel sent from above
All I see is your shining beauty
Hope you can see the human in me
Will your truе love be the onе to free me?

Minho is staring at me with his emotions spilling through his eyes. I have known him long enough to know that he won't cry. But also long enough to know how he truly feels. Because I feel it too. Nothing that words or tears can explain.

I kept my eyes on him through the rest of the song and through my thank you. because it's for him

I did not feel myself when I found myself running backstage, this time not to hide. This time I'm running for a goal and that goal is to reach him. I met him midway and immediately jumped into his arms.

He caught me. Held me close. And kept me close as tears escaped my eyes. Happy tears that I never thought I would understand.

He is here. It's going to be fine.

We stayed like that for a long time even though none of us counted because we didn't care. We just wanted to stay there in each other's arms.

"Jisung." His voice was laced with emotions. "Do you want to go on a date today?" I pulled away enough to look at his eyes. I nodded. "I would love to."

His hand held my cheek as his thumb wiped my tears away gently.

"Jisung."
"Yes."
"Can I kiss you?"

My eyes widened but even my brain did not give me time to process when it told my mouth to agree. A second later I felt his lips brushing against mine slowly. Our lips pressed against each other slowly as more tears were shed and eyes fell shut. His hands around my waist. It burns. My arms around his neck. It is not enough.

This time I really don't know how long it lasted before he pulled away. Our arms did not move away. When he leaned into me once again I met him midway this time. Letting him control the kiss as I enjoyed the warmth in his arms.

"You taste like vanilla."
"And you smell like hope."