You Smell Like Hope

27. You Don't Own Me

You may keep me in
In between your walls
Ban me from traveling
And tell me not to sing
And you may have your thoughts
A sketch of who I am
A notion you've conceived
A sight you want to see
But you don't know me

Isn't it just pretty? To give them flowers to say goodbye. Knowing soon the flowers will be gone too.

Jisung's pov.

It was a Wednesday.

I was in suit. One that did a good job covering my body, but terrible at keeping me from shivering. Blaming the clothes. I always did. However this time it's not its fault. I was not shivering from the cold as I walked to Minho's car where he was waiting for me.

His arms open and inviting. I walked right into them and let him hold my body steadying it. "You don't have to." He whispered. I nodded. "I do." It wasn't an answer to what he said; I don't have to. That is true, but I do have to. I cannot not go. Even when I can.

I pulled away and got into the car and was immediately hit by the soft smell of lavender and Jeongin smiling at me kindly through the mirror.

It's already been a few days. Seungmin spent most of them with me, but he had to go back to take care of the funeral. Minho offered him help, which he refused at first. Too much is too much though and he had to accept the help after breaking.

Breaking is not the right word. Not for Seungmin. Not when he has been strong his whole life. Saying he broke is just unfair. He finally had a chance to let go. To take a break and yet even his break was hard on him.

We had moved. I noticed pulling out of my head. Minho was on the phone and Jeongin was driving.

"My father is five minutes away, he will wait for us there." Minho said.

There there is a place I have never been to before. Despite all the losses I had. None of them was close to this.

When the car stopped so did my heart. Looking at the small building. I swallowed hard feeling my breath catching up in my throat.

Minho's father was there. Felix and Chan next to him, changbin and Hyunjin behind them.

Minho left the car first and held the door open for me. I followed him trying to stop my legs from giving up. They all greeted me with a kind smile.

Then Chan pulled me into a hug.
My legs gave in then.
I don't think he has hugged me better.
His arm feel like a permission. I am allowed to fall.

Chan's arms hugging me. Minho standing by us with his hand secured on my back. Felix taking my hand in his and Hyunjin looking at with so many emotions in his eyes.

I'm coming to say goodbye to my mother with the people who saved her stray son.

I walked in first with Minho. The rest right behind us. I saw Seungmin first.

Then I saw him.

I stopped walking. Frozen in place and time.

You have to do this Jisung.

I can't. I can't. I need to leave. I turned around, but I was met with his eyes. He nodded at me. A random action from outside. However I know. And he knows. I needed the confirmation that he's here. That I can.

"Hyung." It was Seungmin. I walked alongside the flowers till I reached where he sat. I sat next to him on floor. I'm not sure if that was the correct move. None of us cared as we leaned against each other.