My Therapist

25

Beyonce's Pov

Two months. Two fucking months and Solange was still missing.

It's like she went off this Earth, every one who I felt had her, didn't.

"Here." Onika passed me a glass of water and two tylenol.

"Thanks."

She nodded and came around to rub my back.

I downed the pills and palmed my face, I was stressed to the max and Solange was probably gone, permanently. But I knew I had to stop thinking like that. I didn't want to start believing it.

"You should try with Aniyah. Is she still cool with that cousin?"

"I don't know, but i'll check."

I looked up for my phone.

"Still up in the room."

I nodded, "When my head stop banging i'll call her, right now I need to lay down."

Onika moved back and allowed me to get up to walk to the living room. I man spread on the couch and laid my head back.

"If I ask you something, will you be honest?" I asked

Nicki sat next to me, "Of course."

"You think she's dead?"

"Bey.."

"So you do? I'm starting to have those thoughts too."

"I don't want us to think like that, even though that's all the universe is driving us to saying. But the police department would've found a piece of evidence to prove that or something."

I nodded, slowly feeling myself get overstimulated.

I felt my boxers rubbing up against me, felt the thick necklace around my neck. Feeling like it was getting tighter and tighter. Felt the white t against my chest, felt like fire was burning up in my stomach. My vision started to only see flashbacks from my childhood. I could only see that man.

Him and his brother, making me watch my baby sister get tutored. I was so hurt I couldn't even cry, all I could do was stare, and stare. In my mind I remembered telling myself to do something. Pick up the gun that was sitting on the table next to me. Or the knife that was placed beside my feet.

But I didn't do any of those things. I watched my sister go through that pain. Years after that I was still blaming myself. I was 13 and she was 11. And I still feel like I could've did something at the age of 20.

"We won't find her by doing nothing."

"We should still be safe Beyonce."

"Fuck that at this point. The law won't help us, and we don't how good Aniyah cousin is."

"Anybody else do you have beef with? Even if it's old."

I thought, everyone I did have beef with, wouldn't do this. It wasn't that deep but you'll never know.

"I can't think of anyone, do you?"