sim.jaeyun → reality show

22

I stood outside of his studio, back leant against his door as I tried to arrange everything that just happened in there.

Did he just snap at me? What the hell? And to think that I thought we really had something going on.

Nevermind I guess.

As much as I tried to not think about it, I couldn't stop. The way he spoke towards me, that exact tone of voice, it really all did hurt.

It completely made me lose my appetite, for one.

And made me feel like the most worthless person on earth, for two.

I dragged my feet to my room, locking the door behind me and throwing myself on my bed. Damn, was I really stupid enough to think that I could actually have something with an Enhypen member.

I guess this is what people were talking about when they wondered how idols actually act behind closed walls.

I opened my phone, trying to find some distraction. And this was probably another mistake of mine, clearly I forgot that the whole internet was against me, aside from a handful.

So the first thing I saw whenever I opened social media, was people insulting me, threatening me and so much more.

jooyeooniii: why does haerin look like shes gained weight in the new episode lol yikes shes gonna have to size up in her clothes soon enough

↪ jakeyysss: i bet you break scales

knj_33: you think if we email the directors of the reality show then we can get her kicked off or something? i cant believe she actually is still there, especially around jake

↪ jakeyysss: i dare you to show your face first, then you can talk about haerin

Most of the recent comments I saw, had the same person replying to them. I managed to let out a pitiful chuckle, among the tears that already started running down my face.

I told myself that these comments didn't really phase me, so I didn't quite understand why I was crying over them now.

My heart stung, the cyclical tone of Jake's voice cycling in my head over and over. 

I decided I didn't want to see anymore comments insulting me, so I just turned my phone off, tossing it to the side. I lay on my bed, staring at a wall while sniffling.

Great, and it's weigh-in day too. If I don't maintain my weight then Mingho will kick my ass. 

I buried my face in a pillow, just sobbing my eyes out because that would be the best way to ease this aching pain in my chest. It seemed to just tighten as I cried harder.

Eventually, I managed to calm myself, I would have to walk out of my room some time soon, and it'd be a bad look if they could tell I just sobbed my eyes.

So, frantically in an attempt to conceal my little sobbing session, I rubbed my eyes and face with the sleeve of my shirt. I don't think it worked, matter of fact, I think it just made it worse, but regardless, I left my room, taking a few deep breaths in and plastering a smile on my face.

"HAERIN!" Mingho's voice yelled for me, and my heart just felt like somebody had squeezed it. I felt nervous, least to say, I wasn't sure if I even maintained my weight, especially after eating that cake.

I trudged my way towards Mingho's voice, and to my surprise, the whole of Enhypen were just sat in the living room, including Jake. They turned their heads to look at me, walking towards the sofa and leaning on the side as Mingho made his way to the middle.

"Did you cry?" Hana asked, a concerned look on her face. Her words were a little loud, causing the guys to look at me, specifically Jake. He shot his head to look at me, but I didn't look at him, not wanting to even see his face.

"Huh? What? No." I laughed it off, shaking my head in denial, looking back at Mingho, who just stared at me.

I could simply feel Jake's gaze fixated on me, and I just tried to ignore it as best as I could.

"Alright, so good job on the episodes of the show! We've received nothing but good responses from audience." Mingho smiled, pfft, good responses my ass, "I'm not here for anything regarding the show, but for BLOOM it's weigh-in days. So, if you could excuse us." He flashed another smile.

The guys looked over at us, a concerned expression on their faces as they watched us unenthusiastically follow Mingho towards a room.

Damn, I just hope that I wouldn't get yelled at.