A Friend of Another Friend

Chapter Eighteen

-Alexandra's P.O.V.-

I remember it all. The hot burning pain running all over my body. The weakness and the feeling of my soul and the rest of my body giving up. I was at that place again. I'd dream about this from time to time. It was always the same, a nightmare I've been trying to forget for years now. I wanted so much to become a new person to forget all the hate and anger that ran through my body as I was a teen. But it would find its way and sneak up behind me as soon as I forgot about me, dragging me back into reality, slapping me across the face telling me it wasn't over. It was never going to be over.

Because the thing about the past is, the more you try to escape it the more its going to keep running up to catch you. I was that kind of person, a runner. So scared to face what was in front of me I'd just pack up and leave. Just like that, without another word.

In this dream everything was disorientated. I knew I was in a bathroom with black and white floor tiles and bright florescent lights. I was laying down on the floor because my whole body hurt, my eyes struggled to stay open and the world was spinning around me. As I struggled to move or even lift one part of my body I felt my lungs tighten up in the same motion. It was now difficult for me to breathe. I could feel my lungs tightening up and it was like I was breathing through a straw.

My head felt light and dizzy, so I closed my eyes to maybe ease some of the pain.

This is so much better. My thoughts whispered sweetly to me.

Isn't it so much better when there's only darkness around? It's comforting..maybe I'll stay like this forever. It said.

No. I shook my head and opened my eyes still feeling the world spinning around me, it was so fast I was becoming a part of the spinning, like I was being sucked into a whirlpool of never ending white tiles and fluorescent lights.

Deep, hot, flashes of pain coerced through my body in my struggled attempt to stop the spinning, but in response my chest tightened and again I took a heavy, deep breaths to keep from slipping. Slipping from life.

"Help me." My soft whisper echoed through the bathroom but I doubt even I heard it, it was so low.

My throat closed up, my lungs tightened, my heart beat slowed, and I began to slip...just slip away.

I sat up in my bed upright waking up from the disgusting dream. My heart was pounding out of my chest I wasn't sure I was able to control it. I touched my face to see if I were dreaming or awake right now. They shook as I did that and I could feel tears begin to form at the corner of my eyes.

I hated how I couldn't stop remembering what I wanted to forget. A tiny sob escaped from my mouth, and I instantly covered my mouth because I remembered I was no longer in a room by myself anymore, Misty was sleeping silently on the other bed facing away from me.

Tears began to slip like waterfalls down my face and my attempts to push them back all failed, and more sobs began to escape my mouth without permission. I didn't know how loud I got with my crying but when I opened my eyes again Misty was by my side holding my hand softly a concerned look painted on her face.

"Dara, whats wrong?" She asked me.

I shook my head. "It's nothing...sorry I woke you up." I apologized.

She frowned and sat on my bed still holding my hand in hers. "Alex, you can talk to me if something is wrong." She said to me.

I looked her in the eyes everything about her seemed genuine, it was something I loved about Misty. How sweet she could be, kind and caring. Jayden was super lucky that he had her because people like her were like a dime a dozen. Me....not so much, you found blonde hair blue-eyed girls all over the place. I wasn't anything special.