⋆ ˚｡⋆୨ ♡ ୧⋆ ˚｡⋆
In the mafia world, young boys-age 18-20-are being sold as dolls to everyone who pays well. The boys are well-trained... they are no longer humans, just dolls ready to serve their master.
Kim left the mafia years ago, but on his 23r...
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⋆ ˚｡⋆୨ Kim ୧⋆ ˚｡⋆
Chay has been playing with his seatbelt, fingers squeezing it so hard that his knuckles are turning white, almost the entire ride to the shopping mall. Kim keeps glancing at Chay, but he doesn't say anything. Maybe Chay needs to internally prepare for this. Kim knows that this shopping trip isn't something that Chay has been really keen on... especially at the beginning. And it's definitely something new for Chay or at least something that he hasn't done in years. It makes sense that Chay is a little bit nervous, Kim keeps repeating to himself. It has nothing to do with Chay feeling safe or unsafe with you, Kimhan. Nothing at all!
But Kim wants Chay to feel safe with him no matter where they are.
⋆ ˚｡⋆୨ Chay ୧⋆ ˚｡⋆
Suffocating.
It feels suffocating inside of those lungs, and inside of this stomach. A pressure Porchay forgot can exist. He had been nervous, he had been on the edge, scared, terrified, disappointed in himself. He had been all of this throughout years of training. He always had to think better, to be better, to learn and to perfectly do what he was surely made for. It was perfectly prepared, managed, and if he even had to express an anxious sensation he just had to obey orders, and then it would disappear, he had done great.
He doesn't get anymore how to make this pressure disappear. It is spreading all the way inside his body, like a heavy burden he can't just soothe, he has no orders to obey to. He is in that car and they will do shopping, there are circumstances but nothing else. He has no idea what should be done. The pressure is getting so high and he feels like going home. He feels that those clothes are even more unnecessary now, it won't help his Kim in any way. It won't.
But then he feels Kim's eyes on him, another time, and again. He doesn't say anything but Porchay feels that he can't just focus on his emotions, he can't do this. It slaps him hard that he shouldn't have been thinking at all about his own suffocation at all. He shouldn't have but he can't ignore it, he can't at all and it makes him anxious, more anxious than anything not because of what he had to do but because of what he did without anyone asking for it.
His chest is constricted so much that he can't stop his hand from reaching it, soon colliding with the seatbelt. It is strongly maintaining his body in place. Another pressure and Porchay quite doesn't hate it. It helps him to not focus anymore on the one inside and when his own hands are literally grabbing the seatbelt and when he can squeeze it as much as he wants to play with his mind and soothe the pain by the pain, Porchay dives in it.
The car stops. Porchay doesn't move. He witnesses Kim doing it and he doesn't know why he can't just follow, his hands not letting go of their targets, his hands are hurting but he doesn't feel like it is hurting, they are saving him from the storm not even Kim's presence can lower down.
