mistakes like this | minsung ✗

chapter seven.

• minho's pov •

i never saw jisung after that night. 

the next day i tried talking to him, to apologize for everything i've ever done. to tell him i want us to be friends. but when i knocked on the door no one answered, and when i tried calling him by the phone no one answered. the next day i knocked on the door again, his mother answered. 

"is jisung here? can i see him? i need to talk to him." 

"oh...sorry, minho...jisung isn't here. anymore." 

confusion. "what? what do you mean?" 

"he left. he moved away. he's no longer here." 

confusion and frustration. "what do you mean? what does that mean?" 

"he's gone overseas. he's gone to live with his aunt." 

"why?" i don't even know if i'm even functioning the words right. if i'm understanding her. if we're even on the same page here. 

jisung has left? where? why?

"um...you see, he just wasn't...the same anymore. he needed some time off...sorry, minho. but, goodbye." before anything else was said, the door was shut close in front of my face.

this didn't answer any of my questions.

i couldn't believe it.

jisung was gone.

he's left.

i don't know where, i don't even know if i'll ever get to see him again. though, i don't think so.

that was the last time i'd ever seen him again.

if i had known this, i would've done anything i can to prevent this from happening.

had he left because of me?

was this all my fault?

i know it is. i know it's all my fault, so, how could i go back and prevent this from ever happening? how could i ever start over again? get closer to jisung instead of letting him go? how could i ever return back to the start and never let him go?

i'll never be able to do that.

as much as i wanted to, i needed to move on. jisung was moving on, so i should do so too. i got to move on from the slight shift of feelings that began to root inside of me since i've let jisung get closer.

it's too late now.

i've lost the chance, and i've lost him.

all i have to do now, is continue moving on. like nothing's ever changed. like han jisung never walked into my life and left.

he was gone.

so, the change of feelings towards him should be gone as well.

for the better for me.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

ocotber 24, 2011

today was my birthday.

i got a letter.

i instantly know who it's from not just by the hand writing, but also because no one, not one soul, ever writes me a letter.

i sit on my bed with soonie laying down besides me. i pet him gently, still glad my parents were so openly welcoming of letting me keep a cat in the house, reminding me of how right he was.

i carefully open the envelope, trying my complete hardest to not let it rip too much. and then, i began to read, like no other book that has had my full attention.

my dear, minho

hello, hi. this is han jisung by the way. i don't know if you'll even remember me, i know it's only been a year but you must have done a lot of things this past year...i have at the least. even though i'm home schooled...you probably already know this, but i have moved to the states where my aunt ellie lived. she's my mom's sister. she's 29 years old, and she's super cool. we get along very well. like a brother and sister relationship...anyway, i hope you're doing great. i know i left things off in a wrong place. i should've told you about this...i guess i wanted to be selfish about not telling you, cause i wanted you to feel in some sort of way like i was feeling. but that was wrong of me. i should've said my formal goodbyes...i just wanted to write you this letter to wish you happy birthday. happy birthday!! i really hope it was a good birthday for you, and that you enjoyed it... everything else included in your life as well. now, i'll formally say my goodbyes in a hand written letter...thank you minho. for everything, and for nothing. i loved you until i no longer couldn't. i loved you with all my love that i had forgotten to leave some for myself. you were the first person who i ever truly loved. without knowing anything about you, i still somehow managed to fall in love with you...it was a mistake. this is a goodbye. to you. to my feelings for you. to the last love letter ever.

goodbye, minho.

and with this, i say goodbye to my slight change of feelings that were close to being mutual with you, han jisung.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

end.

no ijk this is the end of part 1!
part 2 will be starting soon
I am excited to write that~

don't forget to show some feedback,
it gives me a lot of motivation to continue writing! <33