mistakes like this | minsung ✗

chapter fourteen.

↳ jisung's pov ⋆｡˚

minho needs time. he needs time to adjust with this new side of him. needs to feel comfortable with himself. and, to be honest, i don't think us being together is a good idea right now. 

minho doesn't like me. 

not the way i want him to. not the way i like him...which is why, i need to move on. completely. right now. until, he's ready to tell me what he truly wants. until he's comfortable falling in love with a boy. i don't care if it doesn't end up being me, as long as he's happy, and we can still truly be friends. 

that's all i really want. for us to be friends, in any possible way that is. i just wanna talk to him, to listen to his voice, to look at his eyes when he speaks. his unbelievable gorgeous eyes. 

god i really need to move on. 

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

seungmin and i started talking shortly after the party. he asked for my name in the beginning, telling me how he loves my outfit and make up. telling me how brave i am to wear it publicly. he was interested at first sight, i was just trying to look for minho. but he, showed interest in me not just because of my body. or what i had on my body, he was interested in me. in what i had to say, in my life, in my problems. 

and then, a few days later we run into each other in campus and he asks me out to lunch. we went to a place that sells really great sandwiches that haven't been so good as to the ones i used to eat in california. we talked. we laughed. we got to know each other. we had a nice mutual afternoon together. 

no hiding, no sneaking around, no fright. just us with the world behind us.  

i obviously liked it. enjoyed it because it's so rare for someone to take me out on lunch just to talk and be humans that are just getting to know each other. it was lovely. 

seungmin and i talked about our lives. the little things we sometimes don't get to tell anyone else because it seems and feels like they don't care. that it doesn't matter if we tell them this or that because we'll feel like they won't listen either way.

seungmin actually studied aboard when he was in elementary school. so he knows a bit of english (i like to say he's very fluent in english but he says otherwise). our time away from south korea is something i like to say we have a lot in common. it's good to talk to people who are open minded about certain things. seungmin is very open about a lot of things. 

seungmin has a very composed, chill aura surrounding him all the time. he's very laid-back, but still observant about almost of everything. he's private with his relationships (that i don't mind), he's thoughtful, intelligent, and most of all, considerate. 

he always asks and makes sure i'm feeling okay. and he's kind to me, really kind to me. he seems to consider more of my opinion and desires than his own. his actions are always done in a good way, and, he truly doesn't look to mind or even care that i'm gay. i mean, he knows i'm gay, because that's the first question and sentence he actually spoke to me the first time we met. and i told him the truth, i told him yes, i am gay, but he didn't show much of a reaction. just a tad bit surprised but the kind of surprise where you fake it because you already know it's not a surprise anymore. 

"cool" was all he said to me in return. 

i didn't know what that meant at the time, but, here we are. 

having a nice dinner together for the third time. 

"did you get what you needed?" he asks me once i've returned from talking with minho outside.