mistakes like this | minsung ✗

chapter sixteen.

↳ jisung's pov ⋆｡˚

it's hard to let go of the history minho and i have. we have history. a whole fucking story already made a long time ago, only it hasn't ended because we haven't gotten our ending yet.

 i've known minho for a long time. i've felt things for him for a long time. we've been each other's childhood. even after our troubles, we were still together. he has seen more of me than anyone else ever has. i guess that's the strong hold that he has over me. he's been in my life since so long already. we've been apart, and somehow magically, we found each other again. we're together again. after years, and miles apart, we're here now. 

it's an incredible strong thing i wish i didn't have to care so much about. but i do. it holds me down, makes me wonder, will i really be able to get over minho? and if not, what did that mean? 

i wish i can believe that this is destiny. that we're meant to be together, but i don't believe in that. i can't believe that. 

if we're meant to be together, why aren't we together right now? 

why does it look like minho is struggling more than he did before? 

is he struggling because of me? 

has this been all my fault? 

i shouldn't be hung up with minho, i know this. i have seungmin now. i have someone who likes me openly. who respects and tries to understand me. i like seungmin. i like seungmin. i really do...but it's difficult to really feel it in me when the person who i've always cared and wanted mutual feelings with is still in my life. only this time, he's the one who's struggling.  

what can i do for him without misinterpreting our feelings? 

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

february 19, 2022

seungmin and i have made it official now. 

we're dating. 

for the past month. 

i like him. 

my heart pounds and races when he's with me, my stomach fills with butterflies and i get nervous when his lips meet mine. i miss his presence when he leaves, i feel happy when we're together. 

i like seungmin. 

he likes me. 

seungmin doesn't hide our relationship when we're in public. he holds my hand when he takes me to class, he kisses my cheek when he wants to kiss my lips, he hugs me when we're out having a picnic, he isn't afraid to show affection to me in public. 

when we're alone, he shows all the affection he has for me in every sort of way. 

he kisses my lips, patiently. he whispers beautiful words to me. he carries me with certainty. he touches me with delicateness. he loves me freely and openly. 

i think i'm falling in love with him.  

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

i haven't talked to minho since the party. i've seen him, around. i've seen him walk around campus alone most of the time, but when he isn't alone, he's with jeongin and changbin. trailing behind them. one time i saw him talking to a girl, i think that's a good thing. i've ran into him one time when i was grocery shopping. we didn't say anything to each other though.