Loving you is a losing game (ONC 2024)

Chapter 7- Imogen

Trigger warnings: Swearing and some angst.

After a few days, I start to try doing things to take my mind off of Liam. But everywhere I go I'm reminded of him, from the hallway by the art room where we shared our first kiss, to our table in the cafeteria where we always shared our lunch breaks, memories of him surround me. It's like a record player that's stuck constantly looping the same song, but the song is one which tells the tale of a relationship that's been ripped to pieces, where the couple doesn't know how to piece them back together into some semblance of what once was.

"Hey girl!" Chloe calls out to me from across the cafeteria. Sitting with Chloe and her girlfriend Jem has been an interesting experience. Chloe and Jem seem like they wouldn't fit together, but somehow they do. Everything Chloe says, Jem listens to. I feel so much like a third wheel, it's hard to stick around.

Just then, there's a commotion from one side of the room.

Everyone instinctively turns to see what's going on, and I, along with everyone else, am shocked by what I see.

Liam is currently standing on a table. He has a microphone in his hand and there's a speaker beside him. What the hell is he doing?

Suddenly, Liam clears his throat and starts talking. "Hey everyone. So, for those who don't know who I am, hi, I'm Liam Samuels and until three days ago, I was in a relationship. I know what you're all thinking. This is gonna be a proposal! Well, it's not. Also, I hope to do that in private, anyway, I want to tell you a bit about my girlfriend....ex girlfriend. I won't say her name in case this all goes to shit."

A few people gasp at his use of a swear word and Rupert Twickenham shouts something at Liam that I don't quite make out.

Liam goes on, "sorry, sorry. So, my ex-girlfriend, where do I start? Well to put it simply, she was amazing. I know that's super cliche and everyone says that their partner is the best thing that ever happened to them, well I mean it. She was the most incredible thing I've ever experienced, and unlike most of you, I don't mean in bed. She's an absolutely incredible person and even if this whole thing fails to win her back, I know that one day, you will all know her name. She will go down in history and she will be amazing no matter what she chooses to do."

I blush a little and hide my face. Thankfully, he isn't looking at me, so I don't think he notices.

Liam pauses for a moment and takes a breath. When he speaks again, his voice is quieter. He sounds like he's fighting back tears. "This girl broke up with me because she thought I was cheating on her. Well, I'm here to tell you right now, that I'm not. I would never do that to her. She deserves the best man in the world. One who can make all her dreams come true. Someone who can be the most incredible boyfriend in the world. She deserves the world. And that's not me. But, for some reason, when I stupidly asked her to be my girlfriend eight months ago, certain I'd be rejected, she said yes. All the moments I've spent with her have been the best moments of my life. I would do anything for her, including standing on a table in a cafeteria making an idiot of myself."

That gets a few people to laugh, including me. He's still not done though. "I'm not going to say her name yet, but I said that this whole thing was an attempt to win her love back, so here I go. While I can't promise I will be perfect, and I can't promise you the world, I can promise you this, if I had the world, I would give it to you. I would give you every opportunity. I would take you to the far ends of the earth if you wanted to go there, and I would love to be there to watch all your dreams come true. I know that regardless of the decision you make today, and I hope you'll say yes to save me the embarrassment, you will be incredible. You are a gift to the world, and you changed my life forever."

By now several girls are crying. You can hear sniffles and sobs from all over the cafeteria. I hate to say that even I'm crying a little. I'm smiling through my tears as I smile at him, though he still doesn't look at me.

"Now for the reveal. If you look under your trays, there should be a small card. One side is green, the other is red. Anyone who doesn't have a tray, there's some cards stuck under each of the chairs too. So, first I want to see everyone hold up the red side of the card so I can see it."

Liam waits a few moments for everyone to get a card and hold it up. Sure enough, I find one under my tray. The thought of Liam sneaking into the cafeteria and taking the time to stick all those cards down just for me, even though he might get rejected, makes me smile a little. He spent so much time on all this, and I still don't know how to react. Still, I hold up the red side of the card.

Liam explains what he wants to happen. "I'm going to count to three. When I say three I want everyone to turn their cards over to the green side. If my ex-girlfriend is willing to give me another chance, I would like her to do that too. If she doesn't, I want her to leave the red side showing. This way, only I know who she is and she doesn't have to feel pressured to agree to give me another chance."

Liam pauses and I'm sure I hear him sniffle. "Ok, let's do this. One. Two. Three!"

I watch as everyone else in the room turns their cards over. No matter what, I know for a fact that Liam meant every word. I know that if I said yes, he would do everything to make sure we never break up again. But I have to consider that he might not accept me being Asexual. He might not want to be with me. I mean, he made a joke about getting in bed with girls. What if that's all he wants from our relationship? I don't know if I could break his heart a second time.

I take a deep breath and tears start streaming from my eyes. I lift my card higher so he can see that the red side is still facing him, and so he knows that I'm not willing to try again.