Loving you is a losing game (ONC 2024)

Chapter 9- Imogen

Trigger warnings-  Mentions of toxic parents.

When I hear a knock on the door, my heart swells in my chest.

I open it to see Liam and Chloe. I can't understand why Chloe's here as well. I didn't ask her to come here, did I?

Then, Liam helpfully explains for me. "Chloe helped me with the cafeteria stuff. She's here to help us."

My eyes go wide "so, that whole thing, wasn't even your idea?"

"W-Well...I-I..."

Chloe interrupts. "No, it wasn't his idea, but I didn't tell him what to say. He said he'd wing it. I think he did a pretty good job. I almost wanted to say yes to him myself. Which I would, if I wasn't into girls and literally dating one."

Liam smiles, and I'm surprised that Chloe helped him. He usually refuses help from everyone, even me, so the fact that he allowed Chloe to help him kind of hurts.

"Ok," I reply, tears forming in my eyes already. "We need to sort this out."

He nods, and I go on, "I love you. I love you more than I've ever loved anyone before, and I think what you did for me in the cafeteria was very brave. Stupid, but brave. I'm just not sure if we can work things out. I don't know if I can get my heart broken again."

He lifts his head to look at me, and his eyes are also brimming with tears. "I didn't want to break your heart, Immy. I only encouraged you to break up with me, because I thought I wasn't good enough for you. Someone....Someone told me that I don't deserve you and you could do better."

I look up at him, and I can't hold back anymore. I run over to him and jump into his arms. He hugs me and I nestle my head into his chest. The sound and feel of his heartbeat against me is soothing in a way that nothing else is.

Still, nestled into him, I say, "I don't know who told you that, and I'm not going to force you to tell me, but they're wrong. You deserve the world, Liam. You deserve so much more than I am ever going to be able to give you. I don't care if you never tell me who that person is, but if it's someone both of us know, I want you to spend your life with me, not with them."

He softly pushes me away so he can look me in the eyes. "Y-You want to try again?"

"I do. So, Liam, the one person I love more than anyone in the world, will you do me the honour of being my boyfriend?"

He stares at me, and brings me close to his chest. "I want us to promise each other a few things first. I can't lose you again. So I need us to agree to a few things. First, can we not hide things from each other anymore? I'll tell you what's been going on with me, if you can do the same and be honest with me."

I nod before I remember that he can't see me very well at the moment, so I say, "ok, we can do that."

"Second, I want us both to promise that we will talk to each other. I don't want us to hide our problems anymore."

"Ok, sure."

"Finally," he says, "and this one's going to be the hardest. I want us both to meet each other's parents."

That one is going to be hard. When I told my parents I was Asexual, neither of them understood or really accepted it. My dad assured my mum that it was just a phase. One that I would grow out of when I'd done it for the first time.

"I'm not sure if I can do that last one," I mutter.

"I know," he replies. "I'm not ashamed of you, or hiding you from my parents 'cause I don't think you're good enough, or any of the other lies you've told yourself. I...ok, this is it. I'm going to finally be honest."

I pull away from him and nod to Chloe. She leaves us in peace. This is something I'm sure he only wants me to hear.

His eyes are brimming with tears. "E-Ever since I was a kid, my dad has been asking me to help him with stuff for the family business. W-When I was little, it was just folding letters or shredding paper. Then as I got older and more tech savvy, it developed into sending letters and emails to his clients. Now, he asks me to help him with things almost every day. I've been doing stuff for him for years now, and when I try to say no....he accuses me of being a failure, or a disappointment. H-He's the one who said I'm not good enough for you."

My eyes are also brimming with tears. "H-How do you find time to do that alongside your schoolwork?"

"I don't. Most of the time, I have no choice but to do what he says instead of my school stuff. He doesn't care as long as I do it. He thinks I'm stupid anyway so what's the point of even trying when I know I'm not destined for anything other than to be his successor."

"Y-Your dad really said all that to you?"

"Yeah. And on the subject of Emily, she's my dad's assistant. She's 24, lives in Manchester, and she's married with two kids. She's not trying to date me and even if she was trying to, I would tell my dad and he'd fire her in seconds. He doesn't want anyone ruining his company's reputation."

Now I can't stop myself from crying. "I-I'm so sorry!" I collapse into him and he pulls me close and rubs my back. "I should have never accused you of cheating! I should have more trust in you than that. I-I'm almost...I'm almost as bad as your dad."

He props me up and cups my cheeks so I'm looking him straight in the eyes. "No, no, listen to me. You will never be anything close to my dad. You are my world. I finally stood up to my dad because of you. You gave me the confidence to do that. Without you, I would be a slave to his company forever. Please don't ever even use your name in the same sentence as him."

"Ok. I'm sorry. I-I want to tell you what I'm hiding, but I'm just scared. I don't want to lose you again."

He hugs me close and uses his hand to wipe my tears. "I promise, no matter what you're about to tell me, I won't be angry with you or upset with you. I'll try my best to find a way to work around it."

"O-Ok," I say. "I'll tell you."