Brozone Brain Rot

Brozone CAH 6

"In a world ravaged by blank, our only solace is blank. Pick two cards, make sure you put them in the order you want them to be read. I'm gonna head to the bathroom real quick while you guys pick." Bruce said, getting up to go to the bathroom.

"So what are you guys gonna play?" Clay asked as he shuffled through his cards.

"Probably something fucked up." Floyd said, pulling two cards from his hand.

"What? You not gonna tell me?" Clay teased, mocking offense.

"No Clay, because you might change your answer to try and be better than me. And I hate to say it but, I like to win." Floyd sassed, leaning his head against his hand

"Aren't you at, like, nine black cards?" John Dory asked, picking the cards from his hand.

"Eight. Just two more till I win." Floyd answered after counting his black cards.

"Hey, I'm at eight too. Looks like you might not win this game after all." John said confidently.

"You guys suck." Branch joked while wearing a cheeky smile.

"Ok, I'm back. You guys pick your cards?" Bruce said as he came back into the room, sitting down in his chair.

They nodded, pushing the small stacks of cards towards Bruce.

"Ok, in a world ravaged by a super soaker full of cat pee, our only solace is a lifetime of sadness. That makes sense. In a world ravaged by pixelated bukkake, our only solace is Michelle Obama's arms. Don't know how those are connected and I don't wanna know. In a world ravaged by hurricane Katrina, our only solace is a windmill full of corpses. I don't know how those are gonna help. In a world ravaged by inappropriate yodeling, our only solace is advice from a wise old black man. Who had the yodeling?" Bruce said, reading out all the cards.

JD held up his hand, smiling as he took a drink of his beer.

"Is that because you guys met Hickory earlier this week?" Branch teased.

John Dory's cheeks darkened and said "No." in a small voice.

"Mhm, sure. Because he totally didn't break your brain by flirting with you and Floyd. God I wish you could have been there Bruce, it was hilarious." Branch poked fun at John and Floyd.

Floyd hid behind his cards and John seemed to find the table very interesting.

"Branch, you trying to hook them up with that dude?" Bruce said jokingly, causing JD and Floyd's faces to darken even more.

"Gonna make them say 'yodel le he ho'" Clay said with a giggle.

"Oh my god, can we stop talking about it?" John said, covering his face with his hands.

"Fine." Branch sighed as Clay drew the next black card.

"The class field trip was completely ruined by blank. How was it ruined?" Clay said, placing the card in the middle of the table.

The rest of them looked through their white cards while Clay finished his beer.

It didn't take them long to decide which cards to play, handing them to Clay.

Clay did the most childish shuffle, putting them all on the table and quickly moving them around.

"Oh come on Clay, you know how to shuffle cards." JD said, laughing a little.

"Look dude, I'm like three beers in and I don't think I'm going home tonight so just let me shuffle how I wanna shuffle." Clay said more seriously than need be.

Floyd let out a snort as Clay moved the cards on the table one last time while making intense eye contact with John Dory.

"Ok, the class field trip was completely ruined by an ugly face. Well it wasn't mine. The class field trip was completely ruined by Auschwitz. Oof, that'll do it. The class field trip was completely ruined by women in yogurt commercials. They are pretty weird. The class field trip was completely ruined by my... my sex life. Fuck whoever played that one, here's your damn card." Clay said while pouting.

"That would be me." Floyd giggled, taking the card from Clay.

"Seems like you or John's gonna win. Can't believe an ugly face had to compete with Clay's sex life." Branch joked, drawing another white card.

"Yep. Clay don't open another beer bro. Let's get some water into you." John Dory said, taking the unopened beer from Clay and getting up to get him a glass of water.

"I'm fine, I don't need it." Clay whined a little, pouting but accepting the glass of water JD handed him.

"Yeah, so fine . Your face is bright red. Just drink some water and cool off for a few." John Dory said, picking his cards back.

'It's your turn John." Bruce said, laughing lightly.

"Maybe you should be drinking the water." Clay said into the glass before choking a little on the water.

"Maybe mind your business and you wouldn't be trying to drown yourself in a glass of water." JD shot back as he drew a black card.

"Fuck, why do I always get the cards like this? How am I maintaining my relationship status?" John said exasperatedly, holding his face in his hands after dropping the card in the middle of the table.

"What relationship status? The one with your left hand?" Floyd teases, placing his card down next to the black card.

"Keep that up and you won't like what happens." JD says while glaring at Floyd.

Floyd and Clay giggle, Clay settling down his now empty glass.

"Alright, cut it out you two. You're both too grown up to be acting like this." Bruce says, standing up to refill Clay's glass.

"But that's the fun of it." Clay whines, taking the glass back from Bruce.

Branch silently giggles with Clay and Floyd as JD picks up all the white cards.

"Thank you for being mature about this." John Dory says to Bruce as he shuffles the cards.

"Oh it's not hard, but you're not gonna like my card." Bruce answers, smiling playfully.

"I never do. I hate these cards. I suddenly feel like I'm in a room with toddlers who have the ability to swear." JD joked, causing the younger three to erupt into a fit of giggles.

"I think all of you have had enough to drink." Bruce says sternly, grabbing the bottles of alcohol off the table.

"But but dat's not fair." Floyd whined, taking the glass of water John offered him.

"Trust me, it's more than fair. Your face almost matches your hair. You've had enough. You guys are way too giggly." JD says, smiling softly as he placed a glass of water in front of Branch.

"Boo, you suck." Branch shouted.

"Branch, your eyes aren't even open. You're about to pass out. I'll read this last one then the game is over. Y'all need to go to bed." John smiled softly, sharing a look with Bruce.

This was a common occurrence for their game nights, John and Bruce usually the most sober out of the brothers.

"Ok, how am I maintaining my relationship status? A bucket of fish heads. Gross. How am I maintaining my relationship status? Wifely duties. I guess. How am I maintaining my relationship status? A disappointing birthday party. Story of my life. Would you guys stop laughing so I can read the last one? Thank you. How am I maintaining my relationship status? Robert Downey Jr. I don't know what he has to do with this. Who had birthday party?" John said, holding the black card out, having to shush the drunken three partway through reading the cards.

"Me. Told you you wouldn't like my card." Bruce said, smiling smugly.

Clay snorted into his glass of water, spilling it on himself.

"Oops." was all Clay said as he looked down at the spill.

"Like I said, a room full of toddlers." JD said, shaking his head.

"I think this is the drunkest I've seen Clay. Think we should call Viva to come get him?" Bruce said, nudging Branch awake to drink some water.

"Nah, he's fine. He just needs to sober up some then go to bed." John said, gather all the cards to put them back in the box.