What Is - Jenlisa (Book 2)

Chapter 7 - Paradox

Flashback...

Night after Christmas Eve, drained from all the mixed-up emotions of losing everything in just one night, left her utterly devastated, empty, and broken. Exhaustion, grief, sorrow, anger, and the painful sting of betrayal from the people she trusted the most ravaged her spirit and her entire being, leaving nothing but raw and burning wounds behind. No one ever prepared her for the depth of pain that could be felt in a moment that comes with broken trust and shattered dreams. It was like watching everything she built collapse before her eyes in slow motion, piece by piece. It's agonizing, heartbreaking, and deeply overwhelming - traumatizing. A sensation of feeling everything yet being numb at the same time, the feeling of existing yet feeling disconnected from reality. Still in denial that it was all real - wishing to wake up from this twisted nightmare, but she couldn't.

The last thing she wanted was to see them again, but life was really testing her limits. There he stood in front of their main door, maybe waiting for her. The moment their eyes met his lips curved hesitantly, torn between wanting to say something and just waiting for her to speak first. Anger boiled within Lisa seeing his face, pictures of him and Jennie doing something behind her back flashed in her mind. Things that they've probably done together, intimate moments meant only for her, just hers alone. Those thoughts are enough for her to break his fucking face but Lisa held herself back, feeling too drained to deal with any more drama - she's had enough. Lisa took a deep breath and continued to walk towards the door acting as if she hadn't noticed him standing there.

And just as before she passed him Taehyung started to talk, his voice trembled as he uttered her name, "Lisa..." holding her arm gently yet firmly, stopping her from getting inside the house, looking blankly into the distance "...I've been looking for you." Without looking back or giving him a response, Lisa shook off his grip and walked past him.

"C-can we talk?" He implored, still eyes looking into the distance, shoulders slumped as if the weight of the world were on his shoulders pushing it down.

"You're drunk, just go home, Tae. I have no time for this right now," Lisa said as calmly as possible, trying not to let her anger seep into her voice. Keeping every single emotion intact, not allowing any to break through the surface.

"This can't wait, Lisa," he insisted with authority, not asking for permission but rather demanding to talk to him. But Lisa refused to oblige, walking inside their house without uttering a single word, leaving him behind.

"I came back to win her back..." his confession stopped Lisa in her tracks. Thoughts of them only playing in her mind are now starting to become solid by his words. But still, she remained silent waiting for him to continue explaining himself, thinking that maybe she just misjudged the situation, hoping she was wrong. Deep down she knew what she saw, it was clear, but still clouded with hope that there could be a valid reason.

"I had no clue that you and her are together," he continued. "I'm sorry... I-I," lost for words, he trailed off and ended up letting out a sigh - a kind of sigh that held regrets and desperation.

"What are you sorry for?" Clenching her fist tightly, Lisa mustered up all her strength to ask the question she knew would shatter the fragile remains of her trust and hope for Jennie.

"We're on the same team in Jeju, I- I wanted to tell you but she asked me not to tell you anything about our past and let her do it on her own terms. I swear I didn't mean to keep everything from you. I-I don't know what's up with you and her and I don't want to get in the middle of it so I let her handle it."

"That's it?"

"No..." he paused, hesitant to continue. "That's not what I really came here for."

"Fuck!"