What Is - Jenlisa (Book 2)

Chapter 9 - Turmoil

Lisa stood there watching Jennie walk away, torn between chasing after her and stopping her from leaving or letting her be. With a heavy sigh, Lisa took a few steps forward but stopped herself, knowing that it was too late. Frustration at her inability to control her emotions, Lisa clenched her fists tightly and let her nails dig into her palms, struggling to contain the contradicting emotions of rage and regret within her. But regret has its way to outweigh rage and it started to creep into her senses, realizing the gravity of her actions - allowing her sharp words to cut through Jennie's heart. Wishing she could take her words back, but all she could do was watch her walk away in silence, knowing she had pushed her away further than ever before.

Massaging her temples with trembling fingers, Lisa closed her eyes, trying to calm the storm inside her, and took a deep, shuddering breath, her chest starting to feel tight with the weight of her mixed emotions. Rubbing her hands over her face as panic seeps in, "You're fine," she whispered to herself.

"You're fine," she repeated, catching her breath as she tried to regain control of her racing heart and scattered thoughts. "Chair... counter... moon... trees...," Lisa mumbled under her breath, naming things she could see around her to bring her focus to the present moment, leaning her hands to her knees, and breathing slowly and deeply. "Breathe," she reminded herself, with her shaky voice.

"Perfect drink for a friend's comeback," Kai's voice echoed, approaching from behind. "...got this as a wedding gift from a client," he added holding up a bottle of aged whiskey.

Lisa's eyes flickered open upon hearing the word "wedding". "Fuck," she muttered under her breath. "I'm fucked..."

And when Lisa came into his sight, he could immediately tell something was wrong. "Hey, Lisa? You okay?" He asked as he silently looked around for Jennie. "Lisa? Are you..." He tried to ask gently with concern as he reached out to touch her arm but Lisa shoved his hand away and said, "I'm okay..."

"You- You don't look okay, where's Jen?" Kai stuttered and tried to comfort Lisa, but she stepped back, avoiding his touch. "I said I'm fine," Lisa said sternly.

"I need to go..." She added in a strained voice as she tried to walk but her legs felt unsteady beneath her, causing her to stumble slightly. Kai quickly moved to catch her, wrapping his arms around Lisa.

"No way... you can't drive in this state," Kai insisted. "What the hell happened?"

"Get off me!" Lisa's voice cracked as she grabbed Kai's collar and pushed Kai to the wall with more force than she intended, eyes filled with anger, it was as if a fire were burning in her gaze.

Kai's eyes widened in shock and concern as he realized the extent of Lisa's anguish. Kai chuckled nervously, confused by Lisa's behavior, "I'm just trying to help, what's going on?"

"I don't need your help," she snarled as her grip tightened on his shirt, her nails digging into its fabric.

"Buddy, y-you're scaring me..." Kai's voice trembled as he spoke, holding Lisa's arms gently.

With shaky ragged breaths, Lisa's face slowly turned confused looking at Kai's eyes as she slowly loosened her grip on Kai's shirt and collapsed onto him, head resting on his shoulder. Silence hung heavy between them as Lisa started sobbing softly, body trembling with each breath. "I'm sorry," she whispered through her tears. "I'm sorry... I- sorry." Kai hesitantly tapped Lisa's back a few times, before rubbing her back in silence, letting her cry it out.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked.

Lisa shook her head, "I need my mom right now... I need her here with me..." Silent tears continued to stream down her face as she uttered those words, longing for something she knew she would never feel again.