ᴘᴇʀꜱᴏɴᴀʟ ᴘᴏᴇᴛʀʏ ᴄᴏʟʟᴇᴄᴛɪᴏɴ :)

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TW: Mentions of suicide! (And romance I guess, ew.)

I think I want to kill myself.

Not because I have little to live for,
Or because I have finally acknowledged by own loneliness, but rather it's him
And that stupid smile of his. Constantly making me want more,
Even though I've already acknowledged my chances are slim.

I think I want to kill myself.

Not because I know I'm being too sappy a mere stanza in,
But rather because I know I'm not pretty enough for you,
And that my eyes simply cannot compare to yours; when did all of this begin?
For heaven's sake, I thought this was the one thing I wouldn't ever get myself into.

I want to kill myself, because maybe then I'd stop thinking about you.
It's toxic, the way you're threaded into my brain a mere month in,
Because even though it's all true,
Your name is like an obsession engraved onto my frail skin.

You make me want to smile.
You make my stomach twist into an origami shape of butterflies, each flutter creating a new cramp I'm forced to endure.
You make me anxious, forcing my mind to whirr with excessive thoughts and responsibilities, until all that's in the air is just awkward silence.

They fortunately have stated that"you're not even that bad,"
Another saying that "at least you're nice,"
And for that I think I should be glad;
Maybe all my decisions are not to waste of time, with the way you make me want to glance at you at least thrice?

("Avery don't write about him" my ass! I have a duty to fulfill, and that duty in question is to write constantly.)

(+ Enjambment is not my thing and I will probably not include it in upcoming pieces.)