lion heart [bbangsaz] {feat. daerin}

Promotion

Hanni

"Ye-yes, ma'am. There should be a cart button that—pardon me? You use your promo code at checkout." Hanni rolled her eyes to the ceiling as a computer-illiterate ajumma blared question after question into her headset. "When you hover over the cart button...yes, it's shaped like a shopping cart. Because it's online shopping with a cart. A digital one. That's right, it'll turn green. N-no, no your mouse pointer won't turn green; the cart icon will."

Normally, WHI outsourced their phone hotline through a local third party. But, after a website failure for two very annoying hours, Hanni reduced the complaint volume by collecting some enraged/confused/clueless callers of her own. Thankfully, she could answer them through an app on her desktop computer, leaving her own cell phone free to fiddle with as she played backup IT. "I have no idea why your daughter's muumuu is in the cart twice. Maybe you, I don't know, added it to your cart twice?"

Hanni raised a takeout bowl of clear soup and fed herself as silently as possible. Sullyoon dropped it off earlier, reminding her why they kept her around the boutique. She had her moments.

To be fair, she appreciated these phoned-in distractions, as irritating as they were. Thoughts of Minji on top of her, undulating between her legs, fucked Hanni up and not in the happy ending way. Her spoon idly circled a limp mushroom as her mind sailed along the curves of Minji's thighs.

"Press the minus button, not the plus. You don't want forty muumuus, do you?"

Once she got the ajumma on track, her cell vibrated. And then, it was her turn to malfunction. Because it read:

Minji: I broke up with Jake

Holy god.

She offered a run-of-the-mill "thanks for allowing me to be of service," hung up, and almost screamed for Wonyoung and Irene. Keeping some propriety, she thumbed out an SOS and waited approximately six seconds for her friends to come bulldozing in.

"Hell on ice, who died?!" Irene screamed running in with Wonyoung.

Hanni didn't even pretend to have a grain of chill, shoving her phone into Wonyoung's hands. "Read."

Irene glanced over Wonyoung's shoulder as they glossed over the screen. Wonyoung's hand on her hip in a I'm-psychic-and-I-knew-this-would-happen lean. "She made quick work of Jake, didn't she?"

"This isn't funny. What do I do?"

"Lady, we should be asking. What do you do?"

"Flee the country?"

Smiling, Wonyoung dropped into the seat facing Hanni's desk. After days of apologizing to Hanni on Yujin's behalf, and eventually having the Puppy phone the woman to say sorry herself. Hanni finally forgave the pair for the awful occurrence in the rain.

"Fly to Canada, Pham. And take me with you. I've always wanted to try poutine."

"Wonyo."

"Can we skip your inner anguish and go straight to Classic Hanni Pham?" Irene blurted out.

Hanni twisted her hair into nervous rings, applying non-texting duties to her hand. "You and Rin swear you know my every move."

"Per routine, you'll badger us for advice, which you'll ignore if it doesn't parrot your romantic fantasies." Irene eyed Hanni removing her headset. "Messages, letters, calls, smoke signals, whatever are exchanged with your love interest. Followed by roughly three straight days of callisthenic sex that'll leave us losers here working overtime to pick up the slack. And voila! A new relationship is born."

Hm. That was dead-on. "Is that bad?"

"Chaotic neutral, I'd say. It's just what comes naturally to you."