lion heart [bbangsaz] {feat. daerin}

Infatuation

Minji

Light scratching of paper against wood was the only thing to take the pain away from Kim Minji's night.

Coloring in an "adult coloring book" that is.

There she sat in a corner desk with the TV on in front of her, occasionally glancing at cheesy romance dramas playing on the screen as she colored away.

That's what normally happened on nights like these. To distract the pain between her legs and focus her mind on something else.

Art.

Coloring was her safe space. But, she found she mainly did it when she was too frustrated after one of their sessions.

Each and every time they did it, it only hurt her more and more. The pain began getting unbearable to the point she slowly cried herself to sleep when it was over.

There, on the soft queen-sized mattress across the small studio apartment, laid a topless boyfriend sound asleep on his stomach. His soft black hair showed a little messy, and his back muscles were illuminated from the bright light of the TV.

Minji glanced over at her boyfriend and let out a sigh. Recalling the events from not even an hour ago--clenching her legs together to ease down the pain a bit more.

Her and Jake have been with each other for the past three years. Everything about him was perfect in every way: He housed her, took care of her while she paid for college, and was always such a gentleman all the way back to their first meeting just four years ago.

They met at a party when Minji was only 18.

Him being a mere seven years older than her didn't stop their obvious interest with each-other. They were both of age anyway, and Minji's parents were a striking 12 years apart--so it didn't really bother her when Jake's attempt at flirting was asking what sort of character she was supposed to be at the Halloween party.

Answering with "The Joker" and doing some lame impersonation of him, only left Jake letting out a sweet smile and calling her cute. Making them talk for the rest of the night and exchange numbers shortly after.

After a year worth of sappy dates and comments, led Minji to finally give in to his 'boyfriend' offer. Her friends Chaewon and Wonyoung could not be more excited for her. Even they saw and agreed how great a boyfriend Jake is.

Such a sweet, sensitive, caring boy who would do anything in his power to make Kim Minji happy.

And I am very grateful for him and his commitments.

Which is why the topic of 'sex' took longer to happen than most relationships.

When they first started dating, Jake of course hinted his interest in exploring the topic on multiple occasions, but Minji would always refuse out of fear and appeared to be apathetic about it. Leaving Jake to stop asking the question and let Minji decide whenever "she was ready."

Ever since then, the day finally came in the middle of last year. And they slept with each other 47 times and counting (from Minji) since then.

And she hated every second of it.

But yet she kept doing it out of love for him, and she felt joy seeing how happy he was after it.

Maybe I'm just not into sex... She thought to herself whenever she would color and take her mind off the events in the middle of the night. Maybe I'm just not..ready...

She glanced up at her drama, which was pretty much background noise at this point, and smiled at the character played by actress IU.

She's always been captivated by how beautiful IU is. Her soft voice, and slim frame did wonders to her head. Whatever strong infatuation feelings she may have had with her, were quickly replaced by, "that's my role model", and "I just look up to her, nothing else."