starting our lives New

chapter six

      Bella pov

I was waking up and I rolled over not waking up from what happened last night and how I feeling this morning.

"Good morning baby!" I slowly turned my head opening my eyes and locking eyes with my husband and he had his head laying on his arm with that new smile on his face watching me with eyes.

I smiled his favorite smile and buried my face again. He started laughing and picked me up and put me on top of him and I started laughing.

"That's my girl!" I just looked at him with his favorite smile on my face.

He pulled my face close to his. "I love you baby!" He pressed his lips to mine and we were back at it again.

I had to laugh the way I did last night and I even moved my body same way I felt to and Edward started laughing again like he did last night.

I moved my eyes down at him. I gave him a shitty ass grin.

"Coffee and breakfast my dear husband please!" His head fell against me and he busted out laughing even harder now.

I started squealing and laughing when he picked me up out of bed so we could get dress.

I we even took a shower together and then we dressed and he started coffee first and he brought me a cup first.

Then I heard that song come on again on repeat he song last and turned on when we're walking and we'll when we first made love again after what happened to me.

I looked around at where I we were at again.

I just couldn't get over this spot. I sent Rosey images to her.

Then I told her with my mind. "I never thought it was even possible Rosey. I mean yes Edward already made me feel good. But after what happened to me I didn't think it was going to be the same but he showed me showed me so much more and I felt so much more from him than before. I feel actually feel beautiful Rosey. Edward makes me feel beautiful for the first time in my life and I never thought that even possible. Or even happened to me. But Edward made it possible and proved to me I was beautiful!" What I didn't know is I also spoke it outloud too and I had my head tipped down looking into my coffee cup.

I felt my chin being gently lifted up and I locked eyes with Edward and he was kneeling down in front of me.

I was trying to figure out why he was doing this right now and right after I told Rosey with my mind.

"Because Bella you didn't even know you also said that out loud when you were telling Rosey. Is that how you really feel baby?" I said yes with my eyes and I tipped my head down turning it away closing my eyes as the tears fell.

"Oh baby come here!" I did too and he just held me. I finally let go of what I kept hidden and what I always felt of myself because of the scars and all my malfunctions and everything else.

Each one I thought the more I just let go and cry harder. Finally let go of that.

One of the last things I had to let go. Maybe I also had to say it out loud to, to finally let go of that part of my life.

I looked up at him. "I will always choose you first for everything Edward. Your the first person just by a simple touch that instantly made me feel safe and I knew I had to give you that gift to feel what I feel but I knew also it wouldn't advance either unless you were really real and you slowly we're Edward and you showed me everything and last night and this morning made it more real and it fully advanced and made it full complete connection like it's suppose too. It's a process to earn that gift from me but I didn't know that was going to happen to me Edward and. Nope not apologizing for that because that wasn't my fault. It was my worst fucking nightmare in a different way happening to me because of me being kidnapped and what happened then and then even after with the human males and I knew from the beginning I kept pushing you away because of it and even after we first made love and we got married and then that happened to me. But I also heard you to. So that made a difference in how I opened myself up to you finally and this here is what I give you in return the true me and what I feel like I should really look like not like I was born or how people want me to be. I want to be who I truly am and you showed me it was possible to come out from hiding from the shadows and show you who I am truly am and what I can actually do and everything I can actually do." I finally told at the same time with my eyes and the sound of my voice.