The Milk Farm

Digging for answers, in the garden.

  "Cillian was already here at the clinic when I started working here." She crossed her arms over her chest and stared at the man in the wheelchair who was now drooling on himself. "You'll see him like that pretty often." Ville, who was also staring at the man sympathetically, gently pushed his plate away. He felt his stomach turn. Liz looked down, ashamed. "That's the aftermath of the P.E.S.A procedure. He'll go back to normal after the anesthetic wears off." Ville swallowed saliva that had been rapidly filling his mouth, and he brought his attention to Liz who still looked down in woe. "How long have you been working here?" The rock star eyed the nurse who now avoided his discerning stare. She seemed distant now, as if she wanted to hide "I've been here for five years." Ville felt panic begin to set in as the sudden realization hit him like a speeding train. "You...you said..you said no one ever stayed here longer than a year." His baritone voice quaked with fear. "You said I would eventually go home. Why has that guy been here longer than five years? Ville squeezed his eyes shut and put a large hand over his mouth trying to hold back vomit.

   Gently, Liz placed a hand on his shoulder. "The P.E.S.A procedure. It's horrible. If you don't provide a semen sample the first time you arrive here, you're pretty much guaranteed to always go through it." Liz looked at Ville's plate to try to put things into perspective in a more sensitive manner. "They sedate you, tie you up, and extract semen directly from your testicles. There's a fifty fifty chance that the anesthetics don't work on time so you feel it all." Ville gave her a panicked stare. He was appalled, grossed out, but most of all he was terrified. He had never heard of anything so inhumane in his whole life. He gently pulled away from her touch and frowned with his eyes still fixed on her. Liz glanced down in shame, but continued to inform the rock star of the daunting procedure he was saved from. "After the P.E.S.A is done you're very uncoordinated and disoriented for a few hours. You can't walk. That's why Till is assigned to him. He's supposed to be his caretaker, but..." She paused, her eyes wandered over to Cillian who was half awake, but slumped over in his chair. "But sometimes I think Till does more harm than good. He can be cruel to Cillian as well as other patients. He feeds him like an animal. Once he tied his hair in tiny pigtails while sedated so they looked like cat ears. It's not right. But no one ever seems to do anything about it." She looked up at Ville, pleading for him to understand. "I've tried to report him to Dr. Xanders, but it never goes anywhere. She always says that Till is just doing his job, that he's following her orders. She...allows it."

   Ville looked at her quietly with his eyes shifting about, then Liz spoke up again and it was as if she could read his mind. "That's not going to happen to you, you're going home...eventually." The rock star glared at her and choked on unshed tears. "Why has she kept him this whole time? What's...what's so special about him? What guarantee do I have that she wont do the same thing to me? Liz frowned and reached for his shoulder again but he brushed her hand off and pursed his lips waiting for an answer. Liz sighed frowning and straightened herself in her seat, then cleared her throat. "Dr. Xanders just likes his genetic makeup.. That's all. She just likes him, a lot. Doesn't seem to want to let him go." The nurse observed the rock star's trembling body. He seemed a few shades lighter than when they had walked into the cafeteria. He looked down quietly and processed everything the nurse had just informed him.

"But... why? Why keep him here? Why treat him like that? Why... Why me?" Ville asked, voice cracking with despair. Liz closed her eyes and hung her head. "I don't know. I've never understood it. All I know is that I have to do my job. I have to make sure that everyone here is comfortable and taken care of. And sometimes... sometimes I wish I didn't have to." The nurse paused, taking a deep breath. "I'm sorry, Ville. I wish I had better news for you. I wish I could make it better. But all I can do is be here for you, and do what I can to help you through this."Ville looked at her, his eyes glossy. He paused, swallowing thickly. "Can I ask you something else?" The nurse nodded, waiting for him to continue. "Is there... is there any way to make it easier? For me to go home sooner?" She shook her head slowly. "I'm sorry, Ville. There's no loophole, no special treatment. You have to go through the process, just like everyone else."