someone once said in a song
"when you know, you know"
and i think i know now
my pupils grow when i think of you
and i know that it's strange
but it's true
i do my best to get closer to you
knowing i'll get hurt more in the end
the few weeks leading up to the catastrophe
were the best i've ever known
i felt we made a real connection
and you know, that turned out to be true
halloween was when we started talking
not in a romantic way, we were just friends
but i kinda had feelings for you
long before that night
i was way too fucked up
and when i finally got home
i sat in my bed and cried myself to sleep
cause things weren't fine and
i knew i couldn't tell you
because i told you about how things went
with my old crush
and the way he broke me to my core
even when he made the right choice
it'd be all fun and games
until we got towards the middle
when it's revealed that i feel for you
for you to not feel the same way for me
and now i spend most of my time
in my coop, eating away my pain
i've told you things i've told no one else
because i figured if you loved me
that you'd keep these things secret
i'd be engaged in the story
of how we fell apart if it were ever published
because the drama that surrounds us
would make for a hell of a book
in the end it's better for me
and i'll just have to say goodbye
you broken all the sweetest promises that you never made
you'll blast me on social media
and assign yourself the role of the victim
i think i should be like selena
and take a 10 hour break from social media
leap into my bed like that inmate to the judge
the story of us wasn't written about romance
it was about friendship and how love can ruin it
but sometimes when it's late at night
i just wish you would get your shit together
so you could admit to loving me
but i know you never will
if only you had known
how many pieces i've fallen into
ever since i started being your friend
i write in the footnotes of all the important events
i piece together the puzzle and drive myself mad
i spew venom with my words when im pissed
and sadness when i'm depressed
you've kept me from killing myself multiple times
and i just can't help but think that maybe
the story of us is a slow burn romance
friends to lovers over a long period of time
you're talking to some guy now
you've made him your whole world
and ive taken the place of the moon
always forced to overlook and be your guide
but ill always know that there was something more
something else washed ashore
and the story of us will come to a close
it all ends the same
a brand new day to realize
you will never be mine
oh, you'll never be mine
no matter how hard i try
you'll never be mine
you'll never be mine
you'll never want to be mine
you'll never be mine
you'll never be mine
you'll never want to be mine
