Camryn Quinn is finally getting what she wants...sort of. Moving into a dorm and away from her not so supportive father is a good first step, but like everything with him, it comes with strings. She must attend the college of his choosing for at lea...
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"Woah," Alyssa says, blowing a breath through her lips. "That's a lot."
"Yeah," I nod, collapsing onto the floor beside her. I reposition myself until my back is flush with the floor and my legs are extended up on the wall just like Alyssa's. It's a modified deadbug pose, but she swears on its ability to calm a person down. I didn't buy it before, but now that I'm here, I can fully expand my lungs, and the tension starts to melt away with each deep breath.
Alyssa knew what I was doing after a quick text while I marched into battle, but now that she's heard the entire story, her hand reaches out to grip mine. The touch is supportive, and I actually find it comforting. I'm glad she's here with me.
The newspaper wouldn't normally pay to send two newbie staffers to cover an out of town event, but this weekend's game is a big one. Both teams are undefeated, and the winner will most likely play in the conference championship, earning them a guaranteed spot in the playoffs. Somehow Alyssa convinced Grey it needed to be us, and I can't decide how it makes me feel.
I'm thankful to have handled so many of the hard conversations already, but I still need to talk to Cal. I just don't have the energy to expend, and I'm still not sure what to say to him. He's not just family, he's my twin. Our bond runs deeper than DNA, and to know he's capable of this level of hurt is too much to comprehend.
"So that's it," she sighs. "No more daddy Quinn."
I kick my leg into hers. "Never say that again."
"So what now?"
"I apologize to you," I offer.
Alyssa nudges a foot into my space. "You already did that."
I did. The second I landed back in the city and she picked me up from the airport. I didn't just run away from Taylor and my family, but I ran from the only other true friend I have. She knew where I was, I at least had the thought to text her before disappearing. But I didn't even give her the chance to be there for me. She could have helped me in a different way than Gabi. Her perspective on everything was first hand. She was witness to it all. The banter, the crushing, the falling, and then the crashing. She knows Taylor and Callan. She has every right to feel betrayed by them, and having someone to commiserate with can be helpful.
"Well then I need to thank you. For sticking by me. For being here with me."
"It's what friends do, Ryn. I know you haven't had a lot of those..."
"Is that a joke?!" I slap a hand at her again, but this time it's accompanied by laughter. "I've taught you well."
🏈🏈🏈
My sleep is deep and boring. I didn't have a single dream, or a middle of the night wake up because my brain won't stop. It's just proof of how overtired I am from the events of the week. Even after snoozing my alarm, I feel like I could sleep for three more years. But I won't have a chance to catch up anytime soon.
Alyssa and I wait until we know the team is gone before heading to the lobby. The last thing I want to do today is take pictures of the game, but I have a newfound objective when it comes to my role at the newspaper. What started as an opportunity to demonstrate how integrated I am in the campus has become my biggest goal of all. After talking with Gabi, and seeking Alyssa's advice, I've decided to make it my major.
"Multimedia journalism is growing!" Alyssa squealed and practically started building the vision board when I told her my new plan. State has a good journalism program, that's the reason Alyssa chose it, but she agreed that it might be good for me to finally choose where I want to go. Leaving her doesn't feel good, especially not after the ground we've been breaking in our friendship, but the idea of choosing something that's just for me fills me with an excitement I've never known. So from now on, every single assignment for The Daily Scoop is adding to my portfolio. I'll need it when I start to apply to programs at different schools in the spring.
Regardless of where I end up, as we step off of the shuttle, I slide my credential placard around my neck with a new confidence. The second my feet hit the turf, I uncap my lens with purpose, and keep my eye focused through the lens nearly the entire game. Getting lost in my art is exactly the type of distraction I needed to keep my thoughts away from the game, and the players.
It's easier said than done, considering the way the announcer says Taylor's name through the speaker over and over. It's not his best game. Lots of dropped passes and missed routes. I have to force myself to breathe when he takes a particularly nasty tackle in the third quarter. He's not focused, but how could he be if his body is anything like mine right now. That tug between us is ever present, and begging to be given slack. Especially as the team files back through the tunnel after the game and he brushes right past me. I should have just left, but after the Bulldogs barely pulled off the win in overtime, I needed to capture the team singing and swaying arm in arm to the fight song in the end zone.
The uncomfortable atmosphere is worth it though, as I climb back onto the shuttle bus and finally slide the camera strap from around my neck. I gathered more than enough images, mostly of the large crowd of State fans that made the trip for the game, but also of the action itself. The anxiety and trepidation leaks through fans' faces, and their chants for the defense to step up can practically be heard through the images. I can already picture the article Alyssa will write to accompany them. She'll use impressive imagery to describe it. Something clever to paint the picture of uneasiness lingering over the stadium, and the hard fought battle. She might even talk about how it will motivate the team to make some changes in practice before heading into the last few weeks of the season. Even if they won in the end, things have changed in this city. Not just for the team, but for me too. Everyone's leaving with a shift in their plans. A change of course. All with the same goal. To come out on top in the end.
