𝑬𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒆 𝑪𝒍𝒂𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒆: 𝑺𝒉𝒂𝒅𝒐𝒘𝒔 𝒐𝒇 𝒔𝒆𝒄𝒓𝒆𝒕𝒔

An Unexpected Encounter

ＡＮＷＥＳＨＡ

Sometimes I wonder why I am working.
Why do I have to wake up in the morning and go to work?

I love my job. I love being a doctor.
I love saving lives. I love watching families celebrating their loved one's safety.

Being an Arora came with lots of advantages and disadvantages as well.
People envy looking at my lifestyle, thinking I'm nothing more than a spoiled brat.
Well, I can't change the fact that I belong to a rich family but not a brat.
Now, who will explain this to them?

Last night, for the first time in those 7 years, I didn't have those nightmares.
He didn't come into my dreams last night.

I had a very peaceful sleep last night.

I have to wake up now, I have to drag my ass to the bathroom and then to the gym.
Why do I keep procrastinating all the freaking time?
Why am I this lazy?
I'm a freaking doctor, for God's sake.

After a lot of thinking, I decided to be productive today.
Like I had a choice.

After my morning schedule, I ran to the gym. I'm always lazy in my home.
Don't misunderstand me for being a gym freak, fitness freak, or whatever people call it nowadays.
After the gym and a very relaxing shower, I sat down to do my skincare routine.
Now, this is called therapy.
I always go with a no-makeup-makeup look.
I just don't feel approachable enough in front of this judgmental society.
I'm afraid that one day everyone will see my scars and will laugh at them. They will laugh at me. They will call me by name. They will call me a pathetic loser.

I'm afraid that one day, when I'm confident enough to show the real me, this world will again shut me down by showing how broken I'm within, with no chance to rise again.

My insecurities ascended when I was once destroyed.
If someone compliments me, it won't make me happy. Rather, my anxieties will taunt me. My anxieties will claim into my thoughts, and eventually, I'll conclude that they made fun of me. They didn't find me beautiful, they only made fun of me.

Ever since I came back from New York, I have spent most of my time with my family. All these 7 years, nothing was constant except my nightmares.
I feel that being an introvert is sometimes a boon. I never really share anything with anyone.

Luckily, my family was a blessing to me. They never brought up that incident. We never talked about it nor did I want to. They never forced me to talk about it, which I'm thankful for.

It's funny how I have everything, and I still feel empty inside. It's funny how everyone around me loves and adores me, but I still crave that love.
What the hell is wrong with me?

Today all the people in my home are busy.
Wanna know why?
One of Bhai's friends is coming over for dinner.
My family is weird, I tell you.
They always get excited when a guest comes to our house. The number of guests doesn't matter. For them, a guest is a guest.
What's so exciting about it, tell me?

Mumma has special orders that everyone has to be present tonight.
Well, no one can deny the minister of my house.
So, taking my tote bag, holding my car key, and dragging my ass I went down for breakfast.

Mishka Bhabhi is also here. Oh! How much I love this woman who loves my family so much.
Bhai did the right thing by loving Mishka Bhabhi.
 
Everyone's already present waiting for me, but I know Mumma won't be scolding me today. No matter what happens, she will keep her mind sane for today because guests are coming.
Mumma never compromises with her mental sanity, but I think that was a long-gone chapter in her life after I came into the world.

Oh, how many kands did I have to do when I was a kid?

"Good Morning everyone"- I said with enthusiasm
"Good morning beta," "Good Morning precious"