HEAL || Lee Minho

15. Tears

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Minho knocked on Haejin's door twice but she didn't respond, making him feel even more anxious than before. In those few seconds, several thoughts ran through his mind making him feel uncomfortable. Ultimately, after knocking thrice, he said, "Haejin I'm coming inside.", and entered her room. He thanked the god for the door was unlocked.

When Minho entered, he saw Haejin sitting by the corner of her bed, still wearing the clothes which she wore to the funeral. He then noticed she was going through the pictures she had taken with her mother, still no hint of any kind of emotion on her face.

Minho sat beside Haejin but she didn't look up at him, continuing to stare at the pictures in her phone. "Haejin-ah", he called for her with a soft voice, keeping in mind to not scare or startle her, slowly moving his hand to her shoulder but she didn't respond, at all. He sat there in silence for a while, looking at her going through all the pictures she had with her mother and he noticed, how most of them were in the same clothes which implied that she never really spent time with her mother.

When Haejin went through all the pictures in her phone, she just kept the phone away, and looked straight . It was as if she didn't even acknowledge Minho's presence. She definitely wanted to cry, to whine, to blame other people for her mother's death but she couldn't as she was the one who was to be put to blame the most. Thoughts like, How could I not know about my mom having such a serious illness?, Was I that ignorant?, Maybe things would have been different if I would have known! ran through her mind and she felt as if she didn't deserve to grieve, she felt horrible.

"It's okay, you can cry.", Minho said looking at Haejin, his left hand on her left shoulder and it was as if she needed some sort of reassurance that it's okay to cry, she immediately started sobbing hearing this. She cried loudly, tears falling from her eyes as if a cloud had burst after holding water for too long.

For a few minutes, Haejin just weeped without speaking anything and Minho just ran his hand up and down her arm. "It's okay, let it all out.", he said and pulled her closer to him, her head now lying on his chest. She sobbed so much that Minho's shirt had a big wet spot, but he didn't care. He was a bit relieved that Haejin was finally letting her emotions out.

"Why did she not tell me Minho?", Haejin cried and sobbed even harder than before. "She couldn't even see me graduate, for which she worked hard her entire life.", she continued grabbing Minho's shirt tight, as if he would leave someday too. He kept listening to what she has to say, not interrupting her and giving her enough space to open up.

"She was my only family Minho, how could she betray me like that?", Haejin complained and Minho understood her every sentence. "She really left me alone Minho, why? I was her daughter. I only had her and now I have no one.", she said and her sobbing only increased more.

"Shh, you have me. I'm here, I'm not going anywhere okay?", Minho pulled Haejin away from his chest, looking into her eyes. He didn't really know whether or not it was the appropriate thing to say in this situation. He never really thought of Haejin as his wife. He never really thought of her as a real family till now and was still new to the idea of that. But, he did care for her and he was willing to stay with her.

"You have me, we have our cats right? We're all a family Haejin.", Minho said still looking into her eyes, pulling her into his embrace. "It's okay, cry your heart out.", Minho said and just then, Dori entered Haejin's room, climbing straight on to the bed, between Minho and Haejin, and seeing Dori she just cried more and more.

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After crying for a significant amount of time, Haejin stopped crying and the whole time Minho was there with her, staying by her side. Now that she cried her heart out, Haejin felt a bit uncomfortable with the fact that she just let go of all her emotions which she had been holding back till now very well, and that also, in front of Minho. She wasn't really used to showing her vulnerable side to anyone, but he saw it, every ounce of it, and sadly it bothered her. She was still in Minho's arms and it bothered her, how safe she felt with him so she detached herself from him.