Intoxicated by You

Game Day (TW, Violence)

Blake's P.O.V 

I wake up in my usual position cuddled up next to Katie, something about her just feels so right. This morning was different from others, today was the day we play Chelsea meaning that Sam will be there and i don't know if i can handle it. Katie is still asleep so i slip out of her arms trying not to wake her up and head into the bathroom looking at myself in the mirror realising that i look completely run down and not ok. i should probably look at taking my medication today ill give Alessia a quick message asking her to bring it with her so i can have it at the grounds. i didn't even realise i was crying until i tasted the saltiness of one of my tears. Everything that happened with Sam came rushing back, i was panicking and Katie was still asleep i had no one right now, i just sat on the cold floor and curled into a ball crying while trying to calm my breathing. i Hope Katie wakes up soon i need her.

Katie's P.O.V 

I wake up to an empty bed i quickly look around looking for any indication of where Blake might be when i heard sniffling coming from the bathroom, i got up slowly and made my way over to the door. "Katie please wake up soon I need you right now." she spoke so quietly if i was still asleep i would have never heard it. i walked into the bathroom seeing Blake curled in the corner crying my heart broke. "Blake I'm here, it's ok" i say holding back my own tears. The look on her face when she heard my voice broke me i couldn't hold it and the tears started falling. 

We were just holding each other for what felt like forever eventually Blake wriggled out of my arms apologising thinking she woke me up and for causing me to cry before she left. She is shutting down and i think it's due to a certain someone who will be on the pitch so i gave her space as to not push her away any further. we got ready in silence and entered the car, Blake taking my hand was almost like reassurance she isn't going to leave and drove to the emirates with only the quiet hum of the radio. Dusk till Dawn began playing and the song says everything i wish i had the courage to say to Blake. One day i will instead i only sang the chorus and while stopped at red light looked over to her almost as if to say I got you.

Blake's P.O.V 

I don't want to push her away right now but i can't help it i think to myself as we set off so i take her hand as a way of trying to express that and i think she understands. Katie likes to sing the songs from the radio that have a deeper meaning and today was no different While dusk till dawn was playing she would only sing the chorus but would always look at me while she done so and i fully understood she was saying it to me rather than singing the song. what did i do to deserve this. 

We eventually reached the Emirates and it felt as if my heart was going to burst out of my chest, i was brought back by the gentle squeeze of Katie's hand in mine. "I got you ok." she says while looking intently into my eyes i smile and nod back as we headed inside. I look for Alessia as she gives me my meds and i quickly take two pills instantly feeling a wave of relief and the anxiousness fades away and i head back to Katie. Her and Beth swapped lockers per Katie's request which i am not bothered about i like to be close to her.

While in the tunnel lining up before walking out onto the pitch i hear that voice the voice i have tried so hard to push away for the last three years. its getting closer to me every step my heart beating faster until the steps stop. "Hi, you fucken waste of space, I'm going to make you wish you never continued living after you left me." that voice, that evil voice that belittled me, harassed me, curse me out, spat vile words at me was back. Because Katie was captain she was at the front but she made sure i was behind her, she had her hands behind her back and i quickly grabbed one causing her to turn around obviously noticing the visible fear on my face before glancing at Sam who had a cocky smirk on her face. Katie was mad i could tell because she was shaking pretty bad but she wasn't doing anything which I'm thankful for i don't think i could handle it.