Intoxicated by You

Trust Issues (TW)

Blake's P.O.V 

Since we have posted on our Instagram's that we are official i've had a few nervous breakdowns after being surrounded by paps while out getting a coffee with friends or whatever, wanting to know more. There has also been a few headline stories that caused a bit of an argument between us, such as Katie being spotted hugging another girl or vice versa however, it's all been sorted and we have made sure to be more careful as well as letting each other know things before they appear in the news. I can't shake the feeling though that something is wrong, Katie has pulled away, we aren't nearly as close to each other as we were yesterday and i don't know what to think especially with all the fake news stories. I've seen this before with Sam it was a regular occurrence, she would pull away for a few days while she was making out or something with another girl all the while coming home to me and getting really angry when i would ask her about it or confront her. 

**Flashback** (TW: Domestic Abuse/Violence)

"Where have you been this time" I ask with a slight chuckle as to not cause an argument, Sam has been distant now for a while and i know what that means but I try not let it affect me too much.

"Nowhere, why do you always do this, Always questioning everything i do, am i not allowed to go out and stay out late every now and then, or are you just incapable of being away from me for longer than 3 seconds." She snaps, Well there goes my plan to keep it light hearted then.

"Do you know what it doesn't even matter clearly you can't be left by yourself so i guess i'll just leave all my friends and my social life to be couped up in this house for the rest of my life. God I can't believe you, where do you get off accusing me of something i haven't even done!" she continues to yell and with one sentence i know exactly what she has been up to, i wonder who it is this time. I check my phone and sure enough the first think to pop up:

Sam Kerr Spotted Kissing Soccer Sensation Kirstie Mewis!

Exactly what i thought she was up to. "You were out pulling Kirstie weren't you" i calmly asked not wanting to make her more mad. 
"WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MATTER, YOU KNOW IT SHOULD TELL YOU SOMETHING, IT MEANS YOUR OBVIOUSLY NOT A GOOD ENOUGH RIDE FOR ME SO I NEED TO GO OUT AND FIND SOMEONE ELSE TO DO YOUR JOB. CAN'T BELIEVE YOU SOMETIMES HONESTLY, NOW YOUR GONNA ACT ALL HEART BROKEN JUST LIKE YOU USUALLY DO, NOT CARING HOW I FEEL AT ALL." her yelling has always scared me because i know what comes next. She get closer to me causing me to quickly stand up but that doesn't help as she pins me against the wall holding me by the throat squeezing slightly making it hard for me to breathe, next come the punches one after another and i am helpless nothing i do calms her it only makes her more angry. Once i'm on the floor in a heap crying out in pain she walks away only to return with her belt the one she uses on me on a regular basis my back looks like i've been in a fight with a lion, but my pleads don't mean anything and she continues whipping me calling me useless, fat, ugly and saying i wish i would just die already. Once she finally stops and just leaves obviously going back to Kirstie or whoever she was with, its what usually happens, and i just call Less in an absolute state and tell her to pick me up so i can stay at hers for a while to let Sam calm down.

***End of Flashback***

I didn't realise i was crying until a tear hit my hand. Fuck i don't need this right now, if Katie sees this she will definitely ask what's wrong. Katie is currently out with a couple of girls from the team having a wee catch up as she hasn't been out for a while so she decided to head out with them she did ask me if i wanted to go but i wasn't feeling it tonight. She should be home soon so i just sit on the couch looking through my phone when something catches my eye, 

Katie McCabe seen tonight with another two Arsenal players looking awfully close to Caitlin Foord as they are seen exchanging a hug.

Great I think another reason to add to my current panicked state. Speaking of which Katie walks through the door, "Hey Baby i'm Home" she says sending butterflies through my stomach, this helps calm me slightly but i am still on high alert for the impending conversation we are about to have.

'Hey babe, Can we talk real quick, just to be clear i am not accusing you of anything and i will explain my reasoning but first is there anything going on between you and Caitlin. Just cause it popped up on my phone that you were spotted with her.' I say with a shaky voice knowing the previous outcomes of these conversations.

"Baby, listen to me" she comes over beside me and goes to take my hand causing me to flinch and a sad look washes over her face, i let her take my hand knowing she would never hurt me. "Nothing is going on I only have eyes for one girl, You ok so don't let these headline junkies scare you into thinking that i am cheating on you ok, I love you so much and i would never do anything like that to you." she says not breaking eye contact with me the entire time brushing her hand over my face wiping the few tears that have fallen.

'Ok, i'm sorry for assuming anything, it's just i feel like your pulling away and of course i know you want your own space, i don't want you thinking you have to stay trapped in the house with me.' i say more tears falling as i talk.

"Ok, first, sorry if it feels like that to you i that is not my intention at all, secondly, i will never feel trapped by you, we understand each other and if i was feeling like that i would talk to you about it first. Can i ask where this has come from, if you don't want to talk about it right now then that is ok too." her voice remaining calm so i have no idea how she is feeling so for all i know it could get bad really fast.

'Erm thank you for understanding, i do want to tell you it might just take some time for me to say it.' i reply.

"Take your time baby, i'm not going anywhere." she says with a soft smile.

'Well Sam used to pull away on a regular basis, and then go out and get with someone else, but when she would come home i would ask her about it and she would get really mad and blame me for not being good enough as well as hitting me and stuff, that's why i have a lot of scars on my back, it is from when she used to hit me with her belt.' I finally finish tears streaming down my face at this point and Katie is just looking at me with a shocked and horrified look, tears also threatening to fall from her eyes.

"OMG babe that's terrible, i'm so sorry, i promise i would never hurt you and thank you for telling me, i will be more self conscious about this in the future ok, i promise ill always talk to you about everything and if i do feel like i need some space i will make that clear, never think anything i do is your fault because it never will be." she finishes giving me a small kiss before taking my hand and pulling me into her and just holding me while we sit on the couch together.

Katie's P.O.V 

I feel terrible, i hadn't realised she went through so much, i knew Sam was horrible to her but i didn't realise that it escalated to violence like that. She deserves the world and i plan on giving it to her. After a while of holding her on the couch she has calmed down, i lean down giving her a kiss and taking her up to bed because i know how tired she can be after having a panic attack. I lay in the bed waiting for Blake to finish getting ready before opening the covers allowing her to get in with me where she instantly wraps herself around me as is to make sure i don't leave. I plant a kiss on her head before we both drift off to sleep.