Just You

Childhood Crush (3)

lol of course there's a Draco POV I'm not stupid <3
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Hermione Granger was a complicated woman. She always had been. That's part of the reason Draco liked her. As he walked away from her and into his room, he thought of her.
His first crush on her had been in third year, after she had slapped him in the face. What can he say? It was kind of hot. His crush only grew in fourth year, especially after seeing her at the Yule Ball. It was never really more though, as his parents had convinced him that she was beneath him. But his focus shifted after that, and his fifth year rolled around. Everything changed when his father started training him in the dark arts, and telling him that the dark lord had returned. If it wasn't for his stupid parents and all their pure blood nonsense, he might have asked Granger out. He only teased her because he liked her. And calling her that word was only when he felt insecure.
But all of that was behind him now. God, he just wished he could take it all back. He wished he had different parents, wished Voldemort hadn't returned, and wished that Hermione actually liked him. But he knew that she hated his guts. And after last year, he was sure there was no chance.
Until he apologized, and he saw the look on her face. It resembled something like forgiveness. So when she opened the door to the prefect compartment, he knew something was different. So, he teased her. Of course it was the cowards way to talk to a girl, but Draco wasn't entirely sure she had completely moved on.
He had spent months going over how much of a complete asshole he had been, and how much he regretted it all. Everything from taking the dark mark to teasing Harry at eleven years old. At least he had made amends with Harry. He also talked to him after the trial and thanked him for all he had done. It caught him by surprise when it turned into an unlikely friendship, and now they sent letters back and forth weekly. Mostly trauma dumping on being raised in an abusive household, but also for the immense pressure they felt to please the people in their life.
It was strange, but it worked. Ron on the other hand, was the opposite. Draco at least tried to apologize, but when Ron had been hostile, Draco made no further move. The weasel could go rot for all he cared for.
This year was starting to go well. But he didn't exactly feel safe in Hogwarts. He knew he wanted to distance himself from most of his old friends, so he planned to stay in the head room for most of his time. Draco was ready for the students who would try to get him riled up and expelled. No matter how much he wanted to punch them, he would never let his self control vanish. He would put on a mask at all times. Except around her.
God, he shouldn't have done it. His plan was to tease her until she broke, not let her see him smile. But when he opened the library doors, he couldn't help it. He loved books. Reading was a comfort for him, and when he saw Hermione get even more excited than he was, it was like the sun rising on a winter day and melting all the ice away.
She looked absolutely beautiful. And before he knew it, she was looking back at him, studying his face. He was getting into dangerous territory. Draco Malfoy was not a vulnerable person. Sure, he fancied Hermione, but he never planned for it to be that serious. All he knew was the moment she walked in was that he wanted to snog her, and capture her face in his hands. When she came to sit down, and he across from her, his thoughts ran wild. He wanted to make her chest rise and fall like it never had before. Make her eyes flutter closed because of him. Make her make noises she never had before. He lost control on the train. He was going too far. But it wasn't as if this was one sided. She also was testing the waters, and she didn't back down when Draco suggested the bet. Maybe he could have her. He just needed to get inside her head.
Draco didn't lose.
He came to sit on his bed. The walls were gray, with dark green accents along the room. His stuff was already laid out perfectly, decorated to his desire. He suddenly remembered that he actually went to school, and looked over his schedule. Wanting only the best, he signed up for seven NEWTS. Draco was naturally smart, and if he really cared, he would work hard. He liked to have fun, but his grades were never a laughing matter.
He remembered the day he came home for Christmas break in first year. His father found out from the school that a muggle-born had the highest grades instead of him. His father had slammed him into the wall, and ever since, he studied the living shit out of every class he took.
But it was never enough. He no longer sought out his father's approval, but wanted to be the greatest nonetheless.
He looked down at his forearm, and the fading mark that had been put there a little over two years ago. He thought about it often. How he was forced to kneel down and present his arm to the dark lord. It was either that or death. Sometimes he wished he had picked the latter. Often, he had nightmares about the hours of torture he endured while the mark was burned onto his skin, strengthened with spell after spell to never leave his arm unless he cut it off. That night when he went to sleep, he violently shuttered throughout the night and vomited multiple times as his body rejected the dark magic. But the deed was done. And now that Voldemort was dead, the mark would fade with time. But his shame would never really end, even when the physical mark was gone.
He cleared his head from the memories still taunting him. This year was going to be a fresh start. He lifted his head, scanning his new space. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw another door in his room. He opened it, revealing a bathroom. He and Granger were to share. Interesting. And almost immediately, a cunning plan formed inside his head. He was going to win this bet.
Like he said, Draco Malfoy didn't lose.