Just You

Be Honest (10)

Hey! It's the author, Paige! I was just checking in to see how you like the story so far. I hope you're loving it, or at least find it bearable. I'm really hoping to make this story complex so at times it might be a little long, but I promise I'm trying to make this book as good as I can for now! <3

When Hermione woke up, she felt actually good about the day she was going to have. One of the students she was tutoring would show up here at around eleven, a quick lesson, then she would have the rest of the day to herself in the library. And she was in a good mood, thanks to Malfoy. Last night, he surprised her. She didn't know what had changed, but Hermione liked that he was going to stop being a jerk. It was confusing though. He was so hot and cold. Hopefully he would actually tell her the truth tonight.
    She got ready for the day, and headed into her library. Every time she walked in there, she felt at home. It took her breath away, even though she saw it and spent multiple hours in there each day. And to her surprise, she hadn't even read half the books in there! Hermione loved to get lost in all the stories that were in those pages. She loved the escape from reality. It was like taking a break from her own life and being transported somewhere entirely new.
    It was now ten thirty, and she started setting up her stuff on one of the desks. This tutoring gig was going rather well. It was then when Draco came in. He stopped for a second, then seemed to remember that Hermione was tutoring today.
    "So, what's the lesson plan?" He asked as he looked over the books on one of the shelves.
    "Well, this particular kid has been struggling to make a skelli-grow potion. We've been going over the ingredients list and what effect those have on the potion the last few lessons, so today he's going to bring his cauldron to attempt it." Draco turned to her, looking impressed.
    "Wow, that's actually brilliant. My potions student was struggling with dittany, but I only had them make the potion. It never would have occurred to me to actually make them think about how the ingredients work. Well done."
    "Well," Hermione scoffed. "It's not that complicated. You only have to use common sense, which you seem to have none of."
    "Ouch. Out for the kill today, are we?" Hermione smiled to herself as she arranged the ingredients on the desk.
    "Maybe so." Draco seemed to have found the book he was looking for, and made to leave. "Oh, I meant to ask you earlier." Hermione stepped around the desk as Draco looked at her. "What kind of drinks will we be having tonight. I'm not about to hurl my guts just because Draco Malfoy insisted we have alcohol so we could talk." He gave her a smirk as he walked backwards through the entrance.
    "Firewhiskey."
+++
    The time was eight o' clock, and Hermione was in the head's common room, reading a book when Draco came through the door. While she had elected to take her dinner up to her room in favor of her story, Draco stayed late to talk to his friends. He immediately went to his room, and when he came out, was carrying two glasses and a bottle of firewhiskey.
    "How-"
    "Secret stash." Draco said as he sat next to Hermione on the couch and set the glasses down with the bottle.
    "But that's-"
    "Against the rules? Yes Granger. You should know by now I'm not keen on most of the rules here." Hermione shut her mouth and set her book down. Draco poured glasses for the both of them, probably more full than needed, and sat back. He took a sip from his glass and sighed. Hermione spoke first.
    "So... be honest with me." Hermione took a sip of the liquid and cringed as it burned down her throat. "How come all of the sudden you're talking to me again? You're so confusing."
    "I admit, I was a coward."
    "About what?"
    "Everything." Hermione took another sip, and so did Draco. This was going to be awkward before the alcohol kicked in. They sat in silence for a few moments before Draco set his glass down, already empty, and poured himself another. "Tell me Granger, do you like all your classes? Because for me, everything I'm learning about his fine, but the work is absolute shit." Hermione almost choked on her drink from laughing.
    "I agree slightly, but at this point, I'm used to it. I've been taking advanced classes for years. I can't imagine being in your shoes, though. Taking on this many NEWTS when you've never had full course load before must be a lot."
    "It is." That was all he said. Hermione took a big sip of her drink. If she was going to try to figure him out, she needed some courage.
    "I told you to be honest with me. So please, tell me." Draco looked hesitant, but after a moment he sighed.
    "Well, the thing is, in most of my classes, I get the stuff. But there's always a few things that I can't seem to learn. So in every class, I raise my hand when I know the answer. But most of the time, I'm completely clueless. Yeah, I can beat you to one question, but I never know the rest."
    Hermione had no idea. She had said earlier that she could understand if he wasn't used to it, but she had no idea that Draco would just flat out not learn things. It was mind boggling. For the past moth her mind had been going crazy at the thought that Draco Malfoy might actually be smarter than her. But it seemed that was not the case.
    "Malfoy, I had no idea. And you're not asking anyone for help, at all?" Hermione huffed. "Well in the future, please, come to me when you're having trouble. I was serious about a little healthy competition. I need someone to keep me on my toes."
    Draco laughed. A real laugh. Not a patronizing chuckle, like he had most times.
    "If you won't shame me for it, I might just take you up on that."
    "Good. Because I hate that you ignore me now. I liked you much better when you would make fun of me all the time."
    "Wait really? I thought ignoring you was better than that."
    "No way. At least when you tease me you acknowledge my existence. This past month, it's felt as though you just don't care that I'm alive at all." Hermione finished her drink and poured herself a second.
    "Thanks for that information. Great to know that I can make fun of you again."
    "Hey!" Hermione pushed him in the arm playfully. "Not all the time. But it would be very weird if you just stopped. I would think you'd been under an imperio curse for you to be nice all the time."
    "Glad to know that you think of me as not nice." Hermione laughed then. What was she doing? Were she and Draco actually having a good time? It must be he alcohol.
    "Ok, seriously though," Hermione stated. "What's been going on? I know that you're behavior isn't just because we kissed." Draco finished his second drink. He looked at her, and she saw vulnerability in his eyes. She couldn't remember the last time she saw Malfoy be truly vulnerable.
    "I've been getting these letters from my Mum ever since I arrived at Hogwarts. The first couple of weeks, I ignored them, thinking they would go away. But it got worse." Draco had a far off look in his eyes. "She keeps telling me to forgive my father, to visit him in Azkaban. She thinks it will be good for our family. But I don't ever want to see him again. I probably never will. And it's bringing up all these complicated feelings. I hate him, but he's still the man who raised me. Will I really never have a conversation with him again?" Hermione looked into his eyes then.
    "I know how you feel." She really, truly did. After the war, she went to free her parents from the obliviation spell she cast on them. But they had changed. They wanted nothing to do with the wizarding world, and they had decided to stay in Australia.
    "How could you possibly know how I feel?" Malfoy sneered at her.
    "Well, before the war, I cast an Obliviate spell on my parents. I gave them new identities, and sent them to live in Australia, far away from the war. It was the hardest decision I ever had to make." She could feel tears threaten to spring to her eyes. "After the war, I went to Australia to set them back, but they wanted to stay there. They said that they wanted nothing to do with wizardry anymore, and that it was too dangerous for me. They wanted me to quit being a witch. I said no, so I came back here without them. I hate them for their decision, and I'll probably never see them again, but I still love them so much." She looked to Malfoy, who was staring deep into her eyes.
    "Finally, someone who gets me. I'm sorry that happened to you." Draco inched closer. "And while I'm at it, I should apologize to you for everything."
    "Everything?"
    "Yes. For my part in the war. For almost killing Dumbledoor, for sitting by while my aunt tortured you. I was so foolish, and I hate myself for ever being apart of it. I know that I already did after my trial, but I want you to know that I meant it. I'm not just thankful for you standing up for me after everything I did. I'm truly sorry. I know that I can never take it back, but I just thought you would like to know." Hermione was stunned. She had had multiple scenarios of how this night would go, but Malfoy deeply apologizing for his actions was something that had never crossed her mind.
    She didn't know what to say. She was amazed by his bravery to tell her that. She wanted to thank him for how much he had opened up for her tonight. But she still had one question to ask him.
    "Why did you shut me out after we kissed?" She looked into his eyes as she said it, and Draco pulled back. He contemplated for a long time before giving him an answer.
    "If I told you the real truth, would you believe me?" Hermione was confused. How bad could the truth really be? Although, she knew he wasn't playing now. She had broken down his walls.
    "Yes."
    "I was scared of how much I liked it. How much I liked you. I didn't like that I enjoyed the way you made me feel." Hermione froze. The scary thing was that she knew he was telling the truth. She didn't understand what he was so afraid of. Hermione wanted the same thing as him. She had just buried it to the back of her mind since he shut her out. She figured it would never happen again. Her answer was careful.
    "Malfoy, you don't have to be scared." His eyes changed. There was now a fire in them. Something hopeful.
    "And why is that, Granger?"
    "Because I feel the same way you do." Malfoy was closer now.
    "Granger, choose your next words wisely." Hermione analyzed the situation in her head. They had both wanted to kiss each other from the very first moment on the train. But there was something that was scaring Draco away. And Hermione was not looking for a relationship. What if they were friends with benefits. No. It would never work. She would catch feelings too easily.
    But this was also Draco Malfoy. Hermione would never in her right mind fall for him, no matter how much he had changed. He was still a Slytherin Prat. And the way he was looking at her made her want him too much.
    "What if we made a deal?" Draco inched closer.
    "I'm listening."
    "Friends with benefits. There wouldn't be any feelings involved. And we could still have each other."
    "Is that really what you want?" Draco was inches from her now. Her pulse raced. She was going to brace herself for whatever followed this deal. She didn't know if it was the alcohol or not, but something was telling Hermione this needed to happen.
    "Yes," She breathed out. A smirk was carved onto Draco Malfoy's beautiful face.
    And he kissed her.