Revolution that's been dancing in the rain (Book 1)

10. Birthday blues

"Jessie how nice to see you again"
"You too Mr Patterson" I say to the old man as his wife walks in behind me.
"Your staying for lunch aren't you dear?" She asks resting a hand on my arm
"Oh I'm not sure" I say glancing over at Luke who's glaring at me
"It always means so much that you visit, especially on days like today."
I sigh how can I just leave them after they say that
"Of course, of course I'll stay for lunch."
She smiles brightly at me
"Do you mind if I use the restroom?"
"Not at all you know
where it is"
I make my way down the hall towards the bathroom.
As expected Luke poofs in front of me just as I reach the door.
"What are you doing here?"
He demands rightfully annoyed
I glance behind me, the hallway is not long so the Pattersons would probably hear me if I started talking to myself in the middle of it.
I gesture for him to follow me into the bathroom.
"What are you doing here" he asks again as I'm locking the door behind me
"Luke I'm so sorry I didn't even think, I should have known you'd be here today"
"How do you even know where this is?"
"I've been coming here for years" I confess
The anger on his face is replaced with confusion
"You've been coming to my parents house for years?"
"Yeah"
"Why?"
I sit on the edge of the bathtub
Luke does not sit with me, instead he stands by the door as far as he could physically be from me without leaving. His face is red and wet and his eyes puffy, it was obvious he had been crying for a while.
I must have been taking too long to answer because he looks over at me
"Why?" he asks again but in a voice that you can tell he's holding back more tears
"Julie's mom, you guys died so young, when she found out she wanted to help out your parents"
"All of our parents?"
"Yours are the only ones who accepted it"
He steps closer towards me "How were they, after" He chews on his bottom lip "Heartbroken, but your mum she loves having people over at first Julie's Mom would help clean or bring food over, but your mum much preferred to do it herself. Kept her busy,
she just liked the company.
So Julies mom would come over once a week for lunch or dinner"
"How did you start coming" he asks finally sitting on the bath an arms length away
"When we started bonding over Sunset Curve she also started bringing me with her, not every time maybe once a month. But your parents always said they just loved having a kid in the house again. They used to say"
I hesitate
"What, what did they
used to say"
He moves closer to me
"That I reminded them of you, that having me around felt like a piece of you was there."
"But I wasn't" He stands back up "I wasn't here"
I hear the tears welling up in his voice again. The urge to hug him, to wipe the blood softly trickling from his lip away, and make everything better somehow is strong, so strong it has me up on my feet and darting towards him.
I only stop myself when my hand gos to touch his back, a comforting gesture I can't give because he's right,
he's dead.
There nothing I can do or say to take away the fact that his parents went 25 birthdays, Christmas's, everything without their son. The only thing I feel I can do is not to cause anymore pain myself.
"I should go, I shouldn't be here today"
"When I was 16" he sits back down, this time on the floor "I remember my mom spent the whole day cooking in the kitchen. From the moment she got up until I left for my band practice she was in the kitchen. We had been fighting a lot more recently, about my music, but that day she was so happy she was even singing one of our songs. Her and dad were having a dinner party, the had one every year. Usually I was made to go but this year she told me to go to my rehearsal. I left home a couple weeks later, it's the last time I saw them happy.
And I left to go rehearse"
"Your parent love you Luke, even when you guys fought"
"You started coming alone. Can you, what was that like?"
I smile down at him sadly and sit next to him
"When Julie's mom passed, I stopped visiting. It reminded me of her so much.
I just couldn't make myself,
I could barely pass the street. It was weeks before I came back. I showed up after school with flowers for your mom, sunflowers"
"Her favourite"
"Your dad answered the door, he was the only one home. Your mom was out grocery shopping.
He invited me in,
I panicked and tried to leave.
It was one of those things that as soon as I had a chance to think about it I started worrying.
I mean how dare I disappear for weeks just to show up unannounced."
"You were grieving" He mumbles
"He told me I could sit outside, he'd make some tea and we could wait for your mom."
I continue with the story not wanting to talk about her death.
"I hadn't talked to him much, you're probably well aware that he's more the silent type, but we sat there for an hour or so until
your mom got home.
It was the first time since Julie's mom had passed that I talked to anyone about it. Couldn't really with Julie or Ray, they were going through it themselves. But your dad listened and let me get it out, and when your mom came home she was so damn happy to see me. So I stayed for lunch and then came back every 2 weeks.
Your mom and I would try new recipes and the three of us would play board games.
I only come every couple of weeks now, school and work makes it much more difficult to visit as often."
I probably spoke for too long, no I definitely spoke for too long and Luke's not saying any
"Luke I-"
A knock come fork the other side of the door
"Jessie, dear are you okay in there"
"Yes Mrs Patterson, I just had to make a call. I'll be out in a moment"
"Alright dear" I hear her footsteps fade back to the kitchen
"Luke I'll go. I'll tell your mom I have to leave. You deserve your privacy"
"Dose she sing?"
"What"
"When you guys cook?"
"She hums" I look over at him "same song every time"
"What" he clears his throat "what song?"
"Hummingbird" his eyes well and he swallows hard.
I had asked Mrs Pattersons once about the song and she told me about how her son had written it for her for Mother's Day when he was only 10 years old
"You should stay"
I go to speak but he stops me
"If it makes them happy, you should stay"
"I hope the people in your life know how lucky they are"
"To have someone as selfish as me in it" he turns from me
"What Luke, I don't think you're selfish"
"You said I was, so did Julie"
"Oh Luke no, I don't." I take a deep breath "I think what you did was selfish but that is a judgement of your action, not your character.
Do you understand me.
I don't know you at all really but from what I've seen you are not a selfish person and I'm sorry for implying otherwise."
"Does that mean you forgive me?"
I look away "No" I look down at my feet before looking back up at him
"Julie's my best friend.
I can't forgive you until she does. I'm sorry"
"I get it. If someone hurt one of the guys I wouldn't treat them too kindly either"
"I hope she forgives you" I say unlocking the door
"Happy birthday Luke"