A Guide For The Outsiders

Chapter 17: looking over our shoulders pretend we've got it together

TW:
Please let me know if I missed any

The days started blurring together, which was a very odd feeling for Tommy, as he always had something to differentiate the days with.

At first it was simply a struggle in trying to remember whether he'd eaten breakfast, or if that were yesterday. But now, he couldn't remember the last time he spoke with Tubbo. Was it a few minutes ago? Or a few weeks?

When was the last time he saw Ranboo? Or went on a coffee run.

Tommy gripped his desk, nails digging in just barely. He felt as if he was spiraling out of control, his memory slowly melding together, as he never truly remembered when one day began, and another ended, or was it the other way around?

He felt like his mind was far too hazy, like he was constantly half asleep. Control slowly slipping through his fingers like water would.

Nothing made sense. Tommy doesn't remember when he last sparred with Techno- or danced with Wilbur. And sometimes his mind clears, and he catches the last string of rambling thoughts, and wonders if he's losing his mind.

Who is Techno? He's never danced with Wilbur. Why the hell were the Discs more important? What discs?

But at some point, the fog would settle back, and Tommy wouldn't think twice.

Tubbo seemed further away from him, while also seeming closer. Tommy remembers sitting on a bench with him, listening to music, they had such a fun time. Maybe Tommy could do that again some time.

The three of them walking down a wooden path, discussing what they could do now that they were seventeen. Good times, but things didn't match up. Tommy met Ranboo when he was eighteen.

It didn't make sense.

"Hey Tubs?" Tommy asked suddenly, which took the brunette by surprise apparently.

"Yeah Tommy?"

"When was the last time I talked to you?"

"Quite a while, as I've never heard you call me 'Tubs'."

The answer was really vague, more than Tubbo ever was, but that didn't bother him half as much as this new revelation.

His hands were not his hands

His mind is not his own

Equivalent exchange, a memory for a memory, everything comes with a price.

Tommy doesn't quite know when he got home, or how long it has been since he was here. He was so preoccupied as a new hero, paperwork and patrolling, there wasn't the time to come home.

He simply stared blankly around his apartment.

"Well, seeing as the milk expired about a month ago," he muttered to himself, "I'd probably better get more milk."

So Tommy began on his trek to get more milk, and to the shock of literally no one, got sidetracked, and found himself in front of the Rose Café.

A small bell chimed as he walked in, and a wave of relief washed over him, seeping into his bones, eradicating the constant thrum of anxiety. It felt as if he could breath, and his mind wasn't so muddled.

A familiar voice chimed. "Welcome to the Rose Café, what can I do for y- Tommy?" The enderian looked so puzzled that Tommy almost laughed.

"Hey." His voice was scratchy and gravelly, as if he hasn't used it in weeks. "I'm not on a coffee run this time," he smiled ruefully.

"What do you want Tommy?" The tone was a mix of worry, polite service, and hostility.

"Just a coffee, two sugar and cream."

Ranboo deftly wrote the oder on the cup, the same way he had the first day, but with more concern and less judgment.

He was passed his coffee, and sipped it at the bar. "So, how are you?" He asked, sort of awkwardly.

Ranboo made a face. "Fine I suppose. How are you?" He shot back.

"M'good," He said around a little straw. "Things aren't very intresting at the agency."

"Really?" The enderian asked sarcastically.

The two chatted for a few hours between Ranboo serving people and making drinks. Tommy slowly slipping into his old, annoyingly loud self, with the deafening realization that he simply wasn't himself the past month, maybe longer.

But when he returned home, the comfort from the cafe had ebbed away, and the veil fell over his mind again, slipping back into his paranoid ramblings that weren't truly paranoid, or rambles. Simply questioning the reality he couldn't escape.

But he didn't know that.

____________________________

Now that, was an unannounced, unplanned hiatus.

I don't know why I decided this plot, therefore some things may seem rushed.

It's because they probably are.

I love you guys so much💙💙💙💙💙

Have a great day/night Friends!