messages; hood

3rd march, thursday 2016

- flashback -

// calum's pov //

It was 8 o'clock and Alice and I were getting ready to go to Michael's girlfriends birthday party. It was some big house party about an hour away from where we lived.

"I don't feel like going," Alice whined. I laughed.

"Me too, we don't have to stay for long," I said, hugging her. She sighed and pulled away from me. She walked over to our wardrobe and started looking for something to wear.

-

We drove there and arrived at half nine. Michael greeted us, obvious that he had had a few drinks. He handed us both some beer in plastic cups.

Alice and I soon separated. I stood with Luke and some of our other friends while Alice found some of her friends.

The music started getting really loud and people kept handing me drinks. My vision got blurry. I tried looking for Alice but she was no where to be seen.

This girl came up to me. We started dancing. We ended up kissing. Before it could go any further, I heard a familiar voice.

"Calum?" Alice said, her voice cracking. She sounded heartbroken.

"A-alice.. I-I..." I didn't know what to say.

Tears started falling from her face. She abruptly left the party.

I tried running after her. I was too dizzy to see clearly.

She wasn't driving, so I had a good chance on catching up with her. I could hear the sound of her heels clicking on the pavement.

"Alice! Alice!" I called. I started crying uncontrollably. What did I do? I didn't mean it. I always mess everything up.

I caught up with her. I didn't know what time it was. It was dark outside. There was only the light of streetlights illuminating the streets.

"What Calum?" She shouted, spinning around to face me. She had tears running down her face. When I saw that I was the one that caused that to happen, I broke.

She held a hand up to her temple.
"Please leave me alone for now, I'm going to spend the weekend at my Mum's house. Please don't follow me. I'll see you soon, I just want some time alone," she explained, her voice barley audible.

She walked across the road to get a taxi. I knew she didn't want me to follow her. I stayed still, watching her walk away. A car came out of nowhere, driving too fast. I heard a scream and then the screeching of tyres. I looked up, afraid of what I might see. That's when I saw the only love of my life, her eyes closed and blood on her face.

"Alice!" I cried. I ran over to her, picking up her head. I cried and cried.

The driver got out of the car. I didn't look at them. They called an ambulance. I cried onto her shoulder and held her. The paramedic had to pull me away. They placed her on a stretcher.

"I want to stay with her!" I shouted at the paramedic.

"Sorry sir, but you need to let us help her," the paramedic replied.

I rang Ashton. I couldn't speak properly. I could just about explain what happened. He was the only sober one at the party. He tried to be the strong one, but I know he loved her. I think he loved her more than she realised.

He drove me to the hospital. I didn't say anything.

When we arrived we were told we weren't allowed in. Her mum then arrived. She was the only one allowed to see her first.

A couple of hours later Ashton and I were allowed to see her. Her injuries were severe. They didn't think she'd make it.

I stayed with her for the next five hours before they made me leave, threatening to call security.

"I'm sorry sir, but she won't make it. I'm very sorry," the doctor told me. He spoke quietly in a monotone voice. I didn't shout, scream or cry. I sat down, shocked. How could she be gone? It all happened too quick. This wasn't supposed to happen. It should've been me. I should've gotten hit by that car. Alice did nothing.

Ashton reacted differently. He couldn't hold it together. He yelled and cried. He hit a wall. He wanted to hit me, I know he did, but he knew he shouldn't.

I went back to our small house. I didn't sleep or eat. I didn't speak to anyone for a week.

I showed up to her funeral. I couldn't write a eulogy. I couldn't write one that she deserved. There were no words to describe Alice Rose and how much she meant to me.

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