𝑲𝒂𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒔𝒉: 𝒎𝒚 𝒅𝒆𝒆𝒑 𝒅𝒆𝒔𝒊𝒓𝒆

𝟑𝟏.

RANVIJAY

She isn't home yet, but still I could feel her around me, over me, breathing in me. Why am I so crazy for her? Why can't I spend a single moment without thinking about her? Why my heart has one beat-Kashish, my eyes have only one vision-Kashish, my lips have only one taste-Kashish.

I intended to take the shower as I was stressed after remembering my dark past. I wanted to forget that dark night, but before I could process my thoughts, I'd found my purpose, "HATE" and I'd replayed it every day for twenty-three years.

"Hate!" towards my dad. Towards that lady who destroyed our lives. I took sessions with a therapist after my mother's death, but her sessions didn't help me much. She didn't get my points. I didn't want to heal. If I healed, I would surely forget my mother.

And I don't want that. no matter how painful my memories, I would never leave them. Never.

My hands were tugged on the wall while cold droplets fell on me like they were punishing me. And in the midst of sadness, I found reason to smile. Her bindi was glued to the wall. I felt her caged in my embrace. I almost felt her forehead skin when I kissed her bindi.

Beneath the shower, I licked my lips as they dried in every fucking second. I'd been so cheery since the ritual, especially that unexpected thing happened with blue eyes and lips that tasted sweeter than honey.

That fucking kiss, imprinted itself onto my mind like my favourite memory. I found myself thinking about it-about the way Kashish's lips tasted-about the way her lips tangled with mine-far more than I should. I always cursed my gifted memory, which was capable of storing bad nightmares.

But this moment, thanks to gifted memory, I relived those few moments in my shower like they were real. Whether it last night's wet romance or her kiss?

I hadn't seen Kashish after the ritual as I left the house for some business. I should be angry at her for stealing my credit card without my permission, but instead I found myself loving her in a different way.

She will surely kill me one day. And I'm fucking aware of the fact.

I mentally danced when Mousi mentioned Kashish's promise regarding our marriage. Does she really want to give our wedding a try? Does she really want to love me? I won't believe any words until I heard those words from her mouth.

After I was done with shower, I wrapped a towel around my lower waist and another around my neck. Water drips down my wet hair. I pulled out the towel from my neck and began to dry my hair. Since she wasn't around, I stepped outside the bathroom, wearing a towel.

I know she prohibited me from roaming naked around her but I never listen to anyone. I'd always lived my life on my terms. But yes, I respect her wish, so I stopped being naked around her. Correction needed-half naked.

...

I walked outside the bathroom. Holy crap, she is here. She is sitting on the bed, folding her legs. Eyes pinned to her phone screen. Since she stepped into my room, my room smells like her. I feel like thousands of roses have blossomed around me.

If I were old Ranvijay version, I would torn every fucking rose and toss it out of my room. But I can't do that with her. Now the rose's smell is my weakness. I'm addicted to her smell. So I don't complain about that.

Why she has the urge to change me? Even though she didn't convey her crave through words but I could still feel her dominance over me. She was still in a saree. She looked so beautiful. All I want is to pinned her against the wall and kissed her until I taste every bit of her mouth.